meaningful ramblings

Once upon a time I sought happiness like it was a prize to be won. I ran after it. Half crazed like, like Will Smith from the movie, searching for someone to buy his damned machines. Trying and failing. I took care to question every situation, and it was always the same one. Am I happy here? Failing to understand that although I had grasped the general context that my happiness was my responsibility, I wasn't to run after it like it was going anywhere. You see, with every "today I choose to be happy" I chanted to myself, a mantra which I picked up from if I remember correctly, the diary of Anne Frank, the happiness I so craved slipped farther and farther away from me. As if sensing my desperation and deigning to show me the appropriate amount of pepper I probably deserved for simply refusing to let things be, happiness refused to show its mischievous face. Oh sure enough I knew it was present, but I just couldn't see it. Unclear glimpses here and there, a faint echo o

I'm perhaps 30,000feet above ground level as I write this post. No I am not high, although I kinda wish I am because in as much as I love flying, delayed flights blow majorly. The monitor above me told me so. See I am on my way to London. Although I wont send this post until I actually get there, I feel really cool sitting in my first class with my laptop open, typing this post . nothing to be excited about. I was upgraded and its Royal Air Maroc. See wetin shant gree do me but there's no way in hell (which for now is Lagos, considering the heat and the traffic) that I was gonna pay 278k for a virgin atlantic economy ticket. So when my travel agent suggested the airline, i nearly kissed him...in my mind I did sha and this way I can say that I have been to Casablanca (talk to the hand smiley for anyone that says otherwise. Thats my story and I am sticking to it). Anyways back to 30,000 feet. A second ago, I looked out of the window and onto the desert below and I am still here m

I came to London looking for answers. Answers to still the turbulence in my mind and to be a balm for y aching heart. I came, searching for meaning, for purpose. I came for clarity...in the hopes that the frigid winter air may drive the cobwebs away. Did I come looking for love? Definitely. I came hoping to fall in love with life and nature and beauty. That was the pot I wanted at the end of my rainbow. So I emptied my bank account, paid a ridiculous amount of money for a winter ticket and got on a plane to London. If you've been following this blog then you must know that I was in a really bad place during the last quarter of 2010. And in the midst of all that, i lost hope and my faith in love. I lost my way. But tonight I found it. That which I travelled so far for. Clarity. It was right there in the arms of the Father who never once let go. The healing I craved. And as tears fell from my eyes, I felt my heart fall into place. Not the old tattered and torn one, a new one. And