meaningful ramblings

"#deepdowninside: I want to be different." "#deepdowninside: I want to be stronger, I want to be taller, I want to be lighter, shorter, thinner, fatter","deepdowninside: I want him/her to like me", "#deepdowninside: I don't want to be here".....These are not my desires. Neither are they the desires of any particular person....I borrowed the hashtag from twitter just so that I can write about what we really want. The desires we keep to ourselves, sometimes out of fear, sometimes because we know that if we do want we want we may disturb the balance of karma or some higher power. The things we want to do but don't because we know we may hurt those closest to us with our single mindedness as one might if one was finally allowed to do the things they deeply desire. Thanks to my twit family I was privy to a sample of the things we want deep down inside and I realised that we all want basically the same things, even though everytime, the actions

I'm smiling. Not the smile that signifies that one is pleased with something. But the type that signifies the state of one's life. The type that allows laughter to spring forth. Not the laughter of amusement,but the one induced by joy. So I may say I am joyful. I don't need to say why,you already know. So I'll say something you don't know. My heart stops. No not in a heart attack way,else I'll probably not be writing this post, it stops for a second everytime you smile at me. For in that smile I am reborne. I feel us growing, towards each other, and no I am not afraid. I feel us feeling our way around this thing we've discovered.Not as one looking for the right path in darkness, but as one seeking to try new things, and that in itself is a signal of courage. I hear your thots as clearly as if they were mine, and I know you hear mine as clearly as if they were yours. Your eyes tell me everything you don't say with your mouth. So I'm sitting here, grow