meaningful ramblings

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

Hey people, I decided to write you a little letter, just in case you have missed me. Because I miss you too. I am buried in work. My superiors on the engagement I'm on (bank audit) resigned so I'm the new team lead. Now I have worked on a bank audit before but I've not led one. And I have two ways to look at this...1. As a set up (this is the one that comes to mind a lot) and 2. As an opportunity. (this is the one that I have chosen) ...so understandably its either I sink or swim. Pls send some "floaters" my way (in form of prayers) cos sometimes I may need it. I have bags under my eyes ehn! And I miss my mama (been living in a hotel) and I'm putting on weight (no time to go to the gym and 18hr work days). How's everyone doing. T. Notes don't be upset with me please. Nife how far, Blessing, hope ure well. And thanks for the comments on all my posts. A lot of them make me shy. *blush* and ill try to comment more. Although I'm not sure h...

Last night, i got in from work at about 1.30am. When I got in the sterility of my hotel room assailed me and I began to feel pangs of loneliness. I went into the bathroom, turned to shower on and waited the prerequisite 15 seconds for the hot water to come through. Last night though, while I was waiting I decided to turn the TV on. Normally, i'd turn on some music and go into the shower but I'm glad I didn't. As I settled on my bed, I saw Whitney Houston's face come up on the television. Turns out that I had caught the last 15 or so minutes of Waiting To Exhale. I don't remember another movie that I have loved more. I couldn't help but grin to myself as I ran to the bathroom to turn the tap off so that once again I could experience the reason why I love the movie so much....the joy in true friendship. I'd be the first to tell you that human by nature are fickle and selfish beings. Me, Me, Me FIRST!!! Me, Me, Me always right. But have you ever looked at some...

Once upon a time I sought happiness like it was a prize to be won. I ran after it. Half crazed like, like Will Smith from the movie, searching for someone to buy his damned machines. Trying and failing. I took care to question every situation, and it was always the same one. Am I happy here? Failing to understand that although I had grasped the general context that my happiness was my responsibility, I wasn't to run after it like it was going anywhere. You see, with every "today I choose to be happy" I chanted to myself, a mantra which I picked up from if I remember correctly, the diary of Anne Frank, the happiness I so craved slipped farther and farther away from me. As if sensing my desperation and deigning to show me the appropriate amount of pepper I probably deserved for simply refusing to let things be, happiness refused to show its mischievous face. Oh sure enough I knew it was present, but I just couldn't see it. Unclear glimpses here and there, a faint echo o...

I'm perhaps 30,000feet above ground level as I write this post. No I am not high, although I kinda wish I am because in as much as I love flying, delayed flights blow majorly. The monitor above me told me so. See I am on my way to London. Although I wont send this post until I actually get there, I feel really cool sitting in my first class with my laptop open, typing this post . nothing to be excited about. I was upgraded and its Royal Air Maroc. See wetin shant gree do me but there's no way in hell (which for now is Lagos, considering the heat and the traffic) that I was gonna pay 278k for a virgin atlantic economy ticket. So when my travel agent suggested the airline, i nearly kissed him...in my mind I did sha and this way I can say that I have been to Casablanca (talk to the hand smiley for anyone that says otherwise. Thats my story and I am sticking to it). Anyways back to 30,000 feet. A second ago, I looked out of the window and onto the desert below and I am still here m...

I came to London looking for answers. Answers to still the turbulence in my mind and to be a balm for y aching heart. I came, searching for meaning, for purpose. I came for clarity...in the hopes that the frigid winter air may drive the cobwebs away. Did I come looking for love? Definitely. I came hoping to fall in love with life and nature and beauty. That was the pot I wanted at the end of my rainbow. So I emptied my bank account, paid a ridiculous amount of money for a winter ticket and got on a plane to London. If you've been following this blog then you must know that I was in a really bad place during the last quarter of 2010. And in the midst of all that, i lost hope and my faith in love. I lost my way. But tonight I found it. That which I travelled so far for. Clarity. It was right there in the arms of the Father who never once let go. The healing I craved. And as tears fell from my eyes, I felt my heart fall into place. Not the old tattered and torn one, a new one. And...

Its been a long year. I remember writing a similar post last year, celebrating the end of 2009 and knowing that those times would never come again. How quickly time flies. Its past 2am and I'm in bed, the lights are off and I've just turned the TV off. But I can still feel a faint wetness on my cheek from tears i cried a few minutes ago. Do you watch One Tree Hill? I hope you do. Anyways its season 8 and I just finished the episode where Quinn tells Clay while he is the hospital that she can't live without him. She says that the world is too big and too dark without him. I know its only TV and someone wean this crazy child off OTH but I do understand what she meant because not so long ago I said those same words. I'll be the first person to tell you that everyone can be happy on their own. Most definitely yes. But I will also be the first person to admit to you that once you have been in love, once you have had the privilege of having that love returned, life after ...