meaningful ramblings

Sometimes we give up. Sometimes it hurts too much to keep on trying....especially when so much has happened. Seemingly insurmountable odds... and with a resignation in your heart, you raise that white flag. With palms bruised from holding on, eyes tired from keeping watch, you silently give up. With hopes spent and a heart hurting from longing, you inwardly acknowledge that perhaps this is too much. And even as you wordlessly accept defeat, walking away from the scene, leaving everything behind, you cant stop yourself from crawling right back and taking some of it with you. A reminder, no matter how flawed, of things best left behind, but not forgotten. Never forgotten. Always, Abimbola

There was a day when I laughed till I felt my innards were gonna fall out. That was a good day. There was also a day when I cried like my innards were gonna fall out. That was also a good day. You might ask why it was...well I'lll tell you. Those were the days when I felt more alive than ever. The ability to feel something so acutely that it draws such pure and primitive emotion from within. These days I rarely have that. Not because I don't want to, or that there aren't things to laugh or cry about. But there's none that has made my knees weak, that has caused my heart to flutter and my eyes to squeeze themselves shut. Oh scratch that. There was such a day recently. That day I had to make a decision. The weight of it nearly brought me to my knees. The pain stopped my heart and blocked my ears. I typed the words witthout really seeing them. But I felt alive. I am not here to celebrate pain. Only to find out if you know when you're alive. Have you in any momen...

I tried to write a litttle introduction to this. To tell you how long a year its been. How i've struggled with my own personal issues, as well as the issues that life has gifted me with. But i wont write that because it is mostly irrelevant, Becasue now i choose to look past it all and instead see God's hand. And of that, I am thankful. I read neefemi's post today (Happy belated birthday sugar. I'll call you soon) and I was inspired to do this (especially as my last few posts have been all gloom and doom) ... Lessons: This year has taught me a lot. It has taught me that people come and go and you can either sit down and wail about it or you can accept that frienships dont always last and that some people are only meant to be there for a while and that you can cherish it and hold the memories close. Recently I asked someone if she missed me at all...her reply was "hi". At first that hurt, then it didnt. Becasue i understood. I have also learned that althou...