Friday, April 30, 2010

~10 things I like~

Today I'm definitely chipper. Thank God. And seeing as i've been tagged by Neefemi to do 10 things I love, I shall be doing just that.

So drumroll no particular order, 10 things I love:

1. Champagne
    I really love champagne.  Dont get me wrong, I love wine too. But champagne always does it for me. It suits my every mood. When people ask what kind of alcohol I like, I reply with ..."i'm a champagne girl"

2. C O L O U R

I love colour. Which surely must be weird because my fave is grey. But yeah, I do.I love colour's ability to change the way something looks with an instant 'swish'. Imagine an all grey photo. Then insert a splash of yellow. And purple and red. See.....color influences my mood greatly. I love when it blends fluidly. Or when its so garish that your eyes cringe from the effort. Whichever way.

3. SEX
    Do you need a photo? O_o. Insert yours.

4. Books

    I love books. The smell of a new book. The strength in the spine. And the feel after I've read it a 100 times and its worn through and through and i've memeorized its entirety. And even then, I am not satisfied. Words are the window through which I see life (who said that? me?). My ideal wedding present ? a bookshelf going all the way into the sky. My favorite book of all time however, would be "Calais" by Kathleen Winsor. I dont know why the book affects me so. Maybe its cos I saw so much of myself in the Arlette (the female lead). I can say that I know almost every line in that book. . "Lest you and I who love, should wake up one morning, strangers, enemies in an alien world, far off"  and "True love can never be relied upon to have completely exhausted itself in its lifetime" I havent read it in almost 5 years cos some bagger borrowed it and never returned it. kmt. But Jayla has promised to get it for me. so....*insert bbm dancing emoticon here*

5. Music
    I love music so much, i'm almost speechless in describing my love for it. I love all kinds of music. I'll listen to anything. I always say that music and books are the way to my heart. I cannot over emphasize it. I cannot talk about it further else we'll be here all day.

6. Video Games
     OMG!!! you have no idea. I can sit infront of the tv all day with a controller in my hands. I guess thats from having two brothers and too many male friends. My faves are "Zelda" from Nintendo and "Resident Evil", "POP - Sands of Tme" and "GOW 2" from Playstation.

Btw, ever tried playing games using a projector? teww mad.

7. Cooking
    I love to cook. I can cook anything. Tell me and I'll cook it.  Me and my set of 7pots fighting our way through life.

8  Old Movies
    I adore Old movies.  My mate and I used to watch "Breakfast at Tiffany's" every saturday morning for a long long time. There's just sometime about that era. I call it the age of elegance. At valentine's, i said all I wanted was a box of godiva and an 8boxed set of oldies. I think there were other stuff too but right now thats all I remember.

9. My Car
    I drive a 2008 Honda Civic. its a year old now. I used to call him 'Hunter'. but i've changed his name to Pegasus. I dont think he likes it much.

10. Writing
     I love writing. I love words. everything.about it...I love it when people love what I write. I write what my heart asks me to writ. words that rile and rape, savour and soothe, a melody if you can hear it. i write words that plunder and caress, sometimes lacking in form, but never in fit. always telling, and showing, never confusing nor misleading.......let me write the words to frame your soul.....

I'm tagging  Jayla . :p . my google reader misses you

Thursday, April 29, 2010

~Fair Chances~

I cant exactly concentrate on anything else so I might as well. This post began in my mind just after Da Grin died. See, I didnt really pay attention to his music. Well to anything apart from Kondo which I love. Thing is my grasp of yoruba is rubbish and I couldnt understand why someone would decide to rap in the language. Like our kids another reason to have poor diction. Then he died and I felt his abscence. Quite keenly infact.But not as much as I do now. You see, the day after his death, I went out and bought his album. Just so that I could have Kondo for keeps. Then I fell in love with the entire album. The sincerity in the first two songs. Everything. I still dont understand all of what he's saying, but I got it. And I realised I didnt give him a fair chance. I should have listened first.

See the thing about life is that its seems really long. Everyday we stare at the clocks at our workplaces, waiting for ^pm (for those that close at 6), or for some like us, till whenever the wwork ends for that day. And we forget that these are the days of our lives. One day after the other of seemingly endless journeys till 6pm. Until one day, we wake up and we are all 50yrs old.

I've always been one for living in the present. Embracing life as much as possible. Cos you know, never know. I may live to be 100 or 50 or 24. But now I realise I havent really loved life as much as I should. I am a pracising Christian and I know that I am only here for a while and I will one day go to Jesus. My author. By love life i do not mean you know...the bad stuff. I mean generally loving the life I've been given. Every single second is so precious. And we spend it waiting for 6pm.

I changed after my ex and I broke up. Ireevocably, I thought. But then, maybe not. Funny how someone said this to me yesterday and I refused to believe him. Now i realise that I do want to love whoever I'm with. I want to love and be loved. I wanna cherish and be cherished. I don't wanna be the 'smart/sharp' one. It sucks. When you lie in bed, thinking to urseld .."I'm so sharp. I can make myself not feel anything'. or I'm so hard. But all you are is sad. Imagine going through life thinking like that. Being like that. I want to love foolishly. Call me love's fool. But who is the fool? The person who holds it all inside or the person who lets it all out?. If we both die the same day, who would it be said to have lived a better life? Food for thought? I pray so...

I want to live every moment. Fear has a way of holding you down. Even though the rest of the world is moving. And every single second you're sat there paralysed by fear, is every single second someone else is doing what you want to do or every single second what you were placed on earth to ddo is not being done. And when the time appointed for you to die comes, would that thing have been done? I'm at a point in my life where if I make the career decision that's staring me in the face, I'll either fail miserably or succeed greatly. And yet, I'm sat here, scared out of my skin. Like a rabbit in your headlamps. Should I? Should I not? I'm 23 and so far, I've gone a long way. Do I dare do an about face? Even as I know that God has never placed me in a situation that I have never been able to sail out of, (Thank you Jesus), I am still afraid. What have you required of me?

I want to give everyone a fair chance. Not as in the case of Jim Carrey in "Yes Man". know what I mean. Everyday I listen to Baz Luhrmann's "Everybody's Free" and I know all the words. But I dont think I've ever really understood them until now. Funny how I had thought about doing a post, but quoting all my fave lines in it. Although I cant say exactly how that woulda been, I can say I wont have done it proper justice.

I wont and cant tell you how to live your life. Heaven knows i've got my hands full with mine. And I know how much its easier said than done. But I reckon I'll take it one day at a time. I dont believe in re-incarnation so I guess its just this one life right? What have I done with it till date? What will I do with it till I die? What will I be remembered for? Maybe its not my destiny to make it into history books. Maybe it is..Either ways, I'm damned well gonna try.

Gimme a fair chan will you? I'll be doing the same.

#np: Need You now ~ Lady Antebellum


I dont know what to say. Or rather where to start. Mum just called to say my uncle passed this morning. He wasnt exactly a blood relative. Or if he was, perhaps 8 degrees far. But growing up, he was a second father. Uncle Frank, RIP.

I cant believe im doing another post about death so soon after the last. And this time I am not sitting composed at my desk saying "Death Be Not Proud" . I am in my car .crying. Crying for the man ive known since i was old enough to distinguish between different faces. The man whose house i toddled past on my way to nursery school each morning, whose wife would had me freshly baked sugar cookies. She was my brother's'godmother and i always wished she was mine. He and his wife called eachother 'love' till the day she died of breast cancer about 5 years ago. The man who called his last daughter 'champ'. That daughter, my best friend since forever. She called me 2 days ago to say she's'getting married in a few months and wants me to help plan her wedding. Now my mother says i cant tell her her father is dead just yet. If i cant be there with her when she hears, who will.

What is left of my heart is breaking. All i can hear is silence. And my own sobbing. Dear God, am I allowed to say its too soon. If it hurts me like this, how about the kids. He was their last surviving parent. So i'm asking Why? Why now? Dont tell me about the circle or cycle of life. I dont wanna hear it! Dont tell me about the time appointed for a man to live. Or to die. I just want Uncle Frank.

What essence is there in life. Its so long and then its too short. I dont know what to say...i dont even know how to ask for comfort. Not for me. For them. How much comfort will be enough? Ehn! How much? Why couldnt You wait just a little longer? Just a few more months....till you called him.

And im scared. I'm so scared.

Rest In Peace Uncle Frank.

You were always the best. I love you.

#np: God Bless the child ~ Michelle Featherstone


Tuesday, April 27, 2010

~~Tuesday's Thoughts~~

 Hey people, today i'm gonna be doing a music post. I havent done one in a while, i think. So i'll be listing my favourite songs of the moment (in no particular order) and from a while, and i'll tell you the first time I heard it and the exact emotion i felt when I heard it. Good? No fibbing i promise.

btw, p.s(i know p.s comes after but i didnt know wht else to use) neefemi I saw your tag. Thank you :) )

ok, here goes;

1. Flightless Bird, American Mouth ~ Iron and Wine
    It must have been about 3am ish. My mate stayed over at my hotel that night and he'd sent the  song to my phone earlier but I hadn't really listened to it. For some reason though. i put it on my 'sleep' playlist. I woke up at that time to the song playing in my ear and I felt such deep sadness. You see the last time I'd woken up in the middle of the night to music playing in my ear was last year, when my now ex boyfriend went away for the weekend and he made us a playlist on his laptop.

2. Disloyal order of water buffaloes ~ Fall Out Boy
    I've blogged about this song before. lol. The "buzz buzz buzz, doc there's a hole where something was" part hit the right spot when I first heard it. Till now. I was downloading a bunch of stuff when I came across it and after listening to the first few lines, I thought to myself....Gospel!...finally, something that clearly explains the emptiness i'm feeling inside. Even now when it doesnt feel that way anymore, I cannot get over this song. p.s I love Fall Out Boy with all my heart.

3. Arabesque ~ Debussy
    After listening to Clair de Lune in Twilight, my appetite was whet(whetted? gbagaun? #kanyeshrug). So, i googled Debussy and Arabesque came up. And i downloaded and fell in love with it. Arabesque offered me escape. An avenue to wander off in my mind and out of that tunnel into 17th century England. A time of Baroque masterpieces and the Renaissance. Call me Lady Evangeline.  Arabesque in its true sense is a form of art form which consists of a series of repeating geometric forms which are occasionally accompanied by calligraphy Wikipedia and to the adherents of Islam, the Arabesque is symbolic of their united faith. To me, Arabesque, the music is painfully beautiful in its deceptive simplicity (believe me. i downloaded the sheet and even though i can't read music for jack, this one just looks complicated). It flows and it ebbs. Just like life. My life.

4.  Somebody Loved ~ The Weepies
     Aaahhh....this song preaches comfort. The first time I heard this song was on Dirty Sexy Money. When Jeremy got them to perform in his girlfriend's apartment. That was more than a year before I needed it. The song is a balm for a broken heart. I cried my heart out to this song. Its entire length, a meagre 2:56. I listened to it before I went to sleep, when I woke in the middle of the night and when I woke up in the morning. And right now. I feel like the song carried my pain from me and told me the moment when I was born(reborn?). Its one of the most poignant songs you'll ever hear. (p.s.I want the Weepies at my wedding)

5.  Heartbeats ~ Jose Gonzalez
     Yes, i've blogged about this song before (iThink) or perhaps mentioned it in a post. If you're a lover of OTH, you'll know the exact point in the entire series where this song came up. its the part where lucas tells Peyton the words I wanna hear in real life "its you Peyton. its you I see beside me when all my dreams come true". Tears came to my eyes when I heard the words, which in my opinion, are the perfect declaration of love. I felt those words when I was in love. When i heard the beating of my heart so clearly. When for a moment, i saw his heartbeat.

6.  I will Trust You Lord ~ Donnie McClurkin
    Surrender....."Yes, I'll trust You Lord" Through pain, through sin and to salvation. Any more words needed? 

7.  Rush Rush ~ Paula Abdul
    I cannot remember the exact first time I heard this song. But Wikipedia says it was released in 1991.  So I was about 5 years old. I remember however, holding my mother's 'eba' stick in lieu of a microphone and singing my heart out in front of the television. The song enchanted me. I fell in love with music and glamour. The world was in my palm and all i needed to do was sing my way through. Discovering this song again, almost 18 years later, I can still feel the magic and singing to it on my way home everyday, I hear the innocent, unspoiled, hopeful 5 year old. Singing her way thorugh life.

8.  Brand Nu ~ Drake
     This song. oooh. This song, apart from the foremost undertone being sex, makes me think of honesty, hesitation and wonder. An old friend made me a mixtape and this song was on it. I almost melted into the chair I was sitting in when I first heard it. If you've heard this song and you love it, you'll understand. "is anything i'm doing brand nu?"

9.  On the Wing ~ Owl City
     I have adjudged this song to be the soundtrack of my life. You know how in movies you have parts where its just music and no words? yeah....just like that. Like all things Owl City, this song makes me think of beautiful things. It puts me on wings and I dream of strawberries, and huge pink and red and green and blue butterflies. I dream of ballroom dancing and 18 yards of duchess satin and silk and lace garters. of something borrowed, something new and something blue. Of chandeliers and canary yellow diamonds. of sky diving and power rangers. of little kids and water hose. of fast cars and car racing. of eternal summers and eternal friendships. Of you, my future that I am yet to meet.....

Have a lovely week.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Death Be Not Proud - RIP Da Grin

I did not know Da Grin personally. But through his music I knew the artiste he was. And I was impressed. He was young and clearly bullish (in a good way, in his music) and knew just what he wanted out of his music. I watched him perform at Slushh and I thought to myself, Oh my! yummy. Then I heard him laugh that litlle laugh at the beginning of "Kondo" right before he says "its your boy Da Grin: and I just wanted to hug him. But now he is no more and we'll never hear that laugh on another record.

But....his music, for however long we had it, will continue to live on. So, to quote John Donne, "Death Be Not Proud"

Death be not proud, though some have called thee,
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;
For, those, whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poor death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure, then from the, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.

Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings and desperate men
And dost with poison, war and sickness dwell,
And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well,
And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?

One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more, Death, thou shalt die

Rest In Peace

#np: Meteor shower ~ Owl City

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

On Faith and all other things hopeful

My cousin is getting married this weekend and I am amazed at her courage. Her willingness to "forsake all others" and all those other marraige vows. I asked her how she can be so trusting. She says it is part faith, part love. Nothing scares me more than that act of surrender. The submission to fate and the irrevocable searing of one's life with that of another. The re-alignment of one's dreams. The helplessness.

The surrender that terrifies is not that of loving someone. It is the one of being loved. To quote Carson Mccullers,

"Therefore the value and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself. It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover, and with the best of reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any posssible relation with the beloved, even if the experience can cause him only pain".

The thing is the lover can take his love away anytime. leaving the beloved bereft. "Note" says its about control. In some ways, it is. In other ways, its protection, self preservation. Gifts given can be reclaimed. I know.

Marraiges were made to last, right? at least that was what God must have had in mind when he institutionalized it. But there's so many broken marraiges today. It makes one wonder.

So I just prayed for my cousin and if you read this post, please say a little prayer for her. She is marrying a man that she loves, a man that loves her in return. May it see them till death.

#np: Faith, Hope and Love ~ Starsailor

~Tuesday's Thoughts~

~Bollocks!!!MTN is on its NEPA p again~

~apartment hunting in lagos is not for kids.I'm getting tired of buying castle every week. I'm building a castle with castle. Meh. Dry joke~

~i know I shouldn't feel an ounce of glee seeing as some of my family are stuck in london because of the volcanic/volcano ash and it appears they may not be able to make it back for the wedding. I'd be wailing if my father had to give me away on skype and trusting our internet service in naij, it would be a disaster. Like the time the power rangers' daddy what's-his-face almost died in the movie.if u don't know what I'm talking about, you were most likely an atutupoyoyo~

~why do I like the term "atutupoyoyo" so much. I'll have u know that there's atutupoyoyo generator (I better pass), atutupoyoyo bread (agege bread) etc.~

~i couldn't write yesterday. The words didn't come and it frustrated me to no end~

~if you are on twirra and upon all my begging you are yet to download Owl City stuff, exit this page immediately~

~#beggy beggy~

~im gonna be late again today and my oga will almost tear his face off frowning at me. methinks this working thing is not working for me and thaz why I am now searching for my own ready-made billionaire. Pot belly or not after all sade okoya did not die ~

~shoot! Those guys like yellow girls. And I've tried my best. My skin no gree. Eeez remaining acid and methinks that may not be a good idea.or I can scrape myself with a razor blade....(Thinking)...nah, the Seal look has never been my thing. Oh well...~

~sincerely though, now that I've mentioned body parts, I have a letter to mine~

Dear boobs : you can like to chill on the 3weeks worth of hurting between periods. Whaz your own sef. If not that I'm sorta stuck with you, I'd be 90210 -ing your ass.

Dear abdomen and back : how have I offended you ehn? Out of all the nutrients in food its only the fat that you'll choose. And you refuse to let go! Kilode!

Dear thighs : I never liked you much. Now you've got me thinking I'm crazy when I say I can feel u literally doing a fat formation under my skin. Every single time I eat. Anyways, that's not even the cause of the beef. Those my Rocawear jeans, yeah the fav one...I can't wear them anymore and its all ur fault. Shape up or ship out.

Dear Bum: I see you. Growing and shit. STAY WHERE YOU ARE!!!

Dear all over body skin : all I caan say is that u better be responding to those omega h3 fish oil tabs I've been taking or else, (drawing my ear) I wee not baff u again!

~yah! So u can see I'm vexing~

~i've finally decided to learn to sew. If my mum will have the patience to teach me seeing as she's been begging me all my life to learn. But desperate times call for desperate measures. Kmt. Everytime I sketch a mini, she makes it knee length and I'm tired of explaining that she's the one in mothers' union, not me. ~

~speaking of mothers' union, if u decide to get married at Archbishop Vining and ur gown is a tube, mothers' union will rent u the ugliest cape in the history of capes for 25,000naira. Oh yes, eez by force. Especially after that bride's titties popped out in front of the altar~

~kelis' "accapella" vid, pourquoi ?~

~listen to Owl City. the music makes me think of strawberries, an eternal summer and falling deeply and quickly into love~

And you all know I've been there.

#np: On the wing ~ Owl City.

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

~Tuesday's thoughts~

~i really had these thoughts on a tuesday. Ask Loose and blame MTN and their rationing of BIS~

~ M.I. has fallen my hand. Big time. Like heartbroken type falling of hand. Kilode. Ahan nau. Se na like dis we go de dey. (That last bit was for special effect. Just like drumming on a bottle is used to create special effects in Naija movies)~

~ I will comment my reserve about enough is enough. *insert kanye shrug* then *insert messi shrug* I'm not saying its not a good thing, but let's be reminded that change comes from within. O dear rallyerian( my word) have you paid your taxes? Do u bribe police cos your car papers are outdated or incomplete? Or do you bribe nepa to connect u to another street's power line? Lemme not even go on and on about this. U get my point~

~ I am such a music ashewo. Remember 2 weeks ago when it was T-Pain's reverse cowgirl? Now its Usher's OMG. As in omg mehn. If I should dance to this song in a club, I reckon someone would do to me what I will do to Tuface if I see him. See two entries below~

~ If I kolobi your sister, if I dance with deborah(implication). Tuface should organise a competition. The first non-idoma girl to get the lyrics to this song correctly will scratch his turtle. I'll put a knife to @blazeotokpa 's neck till he teaches them to me. And I'll win~

~ If I win, there will be no need for niceties. I will throw him over my shoulder (captain caveman style) saying ooga booga and run away with him~

~ If you don't know captain cavemaaaaaaan, then you were either an atutupoyoyo as a kid or you were jehova witness(which is a really good thing with all the evil on tv these days. Look how I turned out! I think in queens english. Lugubrious (see entry below)~

~ thaz how I watched one speaker of the house of reps and let's just say I am dead. As in flatlined. I don't know his name, but all I'll say is that this is a macabre dance( assuming that's what he said).the english was wrapped in a thick bini accent. Anyways, I've decided that if anyone shells on twitter again, I won't say gbagaun. It'll be lugubrious~


~ I detest users. Especially in cases where it is not symbiotic (yex box. I know englees and I did biology in school) if we r not chopping eachother means you're only chopping me and it makes me a big fool. I am not a fool~

~ I take back what I said about the german. Thing is I really don't know.~

~ Why are people so hung up on the fact that they get gbagauned on twirra. Izits my faultes that your engleeses is poor? If you shell, I will got it...lugubrious~

~ Does fucking more than 10people before you're 25 make you a hoe and unsuitable for marraige? God help us all that the society that will live in has seen fit to produce such~

~ Your girlfriend had better be a virgin. Your mum had better have been a virgin. Cos there's no difference between 1 and 10. ~

~ Premarital sex is sin~

~ I have no idea what to wear to work this wednesday morning. And I think I'll be late~

~ Peaze n tinz~

P.s, also, the boy also said girl§ that look for boys with big dicks are hoes. My judgement? He's pulling a two incher and Lenny's sex tips can't help him. (iKid, iKid :|)

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Riot Act : Dealing with pesky extended family

So there's this huge wedding in my family this month and everybody is coming rom everywhere. I have to state at this point that extended family make me uncomfortable. You know how you have a gekko high up on your wall watching you and you cant get a broom long enough to drive it away and you have to sleep? yeah, just like that. I don't know why, but they always have. All but one. My darling big cousin. Then he got married and that was the end of that story.

Anyways, my dad's sister, one of the 5 will be coming from amirika and my dad calmly informed me last night that she will be sleeping in my room. Incredulousity (is this even a word?). The conversation went thus :

Daddy: Bimbo, Yemi will be staying in your room when she comes on thursday

Me: You must be kidding me daddy. like seriously? are you for real? aint gonna happen.

Daddy: I'm very serious. She cant stay in the guest room because Tunde is there, and she cant stay in Dipo's room because well, its dipo's room and besides doyin will be there too.

Me: cant she sleep in the living room?

Daddy: you must be crazy...(wordless rant. well i wasnt really listening)

Me: Daddy i dont get you. after everything these people did? i get how in ur fastly approaching old age u think it is necessary to mend bridges with your siblings, but isnt this going too far? is she not part of the people that connived to steal and bankrupt your aviation company, hence my living in poverty today? or dont you think i wanted Beyonce at my wedding? or oh wait...wasn't she the one who called my mother a witch?? This is bullshit. I'm moving out.

Daddy: Okay she'll sleep in the living room.

actually, that convo took place in my head. The real one went as follows:

Daddy: Bimbo, Yemi will be staying in your room when she comes on thurday

Me: Cant she stay in a hotel?

Daddy: No.

Me: Well i'm moving out till she goes.

Daddy: But why?

Me: *blank stare*

Daddy: *deepsigh* okay

Thing is I am averse to sharing my space, my things. I am utterly protective of things that belong to me, to talk less of the people that belong to me.Yes i say belong. I don't wanna share my parents or my best friends. Flaw in my character? i'll leave you to decide that. So before I pack out of my house for the upteenth time tomorrow, I shall read my mother the riot act as follows:

~You shall not discuss any of my future plans with your in-laws. either relating to my work, education or travel~

~ You are not at liberty to discuss when i intend to marry, or how many children in intend to have~

~You shall not mention that I do not have a spare tyre, or that I shall be getting my own house~

~You are not also at liberty to discuss the state of my health or anything at all that relates to my well being~

~If she asks you about your daughter, you are however free to say that I am a spoilt waywar child with no plans for her future~

~You are also not at liberty to discuss my siblings or their ambitions for life~

I know I am being paranoid, but there's even more, relating to my lingerie drawers, toiletries, international passports and old chequebooks. Thing is, although I am not usually given to superstition, i have coined an adage for this very special occassion.  frog wey no dey look road, go jump enter frying pan

Happy tuesdays people

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Back Talk

Dont mind the title. I am scared. like crippling paralyzing fear. I dont trust the him even though I know I should. I cant go there again. I promised myself I wouldnt. I just cant. It was too dark, too hot and too cold. The pain felt like i should curl up and die. He should just leave me alone. LEAVE ME!

But i don't want him to go. I really don't. Never have. I'm just afraid.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

~~Tuesday's Thoughts~~

~Potentially smelly balls shall now be called smelly balls. and no, i havent smelt them. But he's gotten on my last nerve and I decided he needed a graduation. The phool asked me today to give him a hug that he deserves. I nearly kneed him in the groin. However, evaluations are around the corner, and I need that EP rating~

~EP means exceptional performer. KPMG people have been accused of having all sorts of names for things~

~there's a rat called Clif at my Client's. he's actually human and he has decided that all he wants from me is that I return his love. how do i tell him that he is below my ADPT~

~ADPT means audit difference posting threshold. u'll probably not understand this, so lemme just say that he is below the threshold that is below my materiality. if u still dont understand, google it, or shoot yoself~

~I hate fighting with the german. even after we've settled, i loathe the wasted hours spent hating on him~

~i should probably tell my daddy that he should stop dancing alanta at my having just moved back home cos i may have found a place.~(in my mind)

~there's someone on my timeline who forgets to add the letter 's' when its necessary.Example, "it seem as if" . i'd gbagaun all this person's tweets but i probably won't be able to catch up. This person shells eight out of ten times~

~i had fun at pulse. and ghana fried rice is hungrying me~

~can someone please ask Tuface if i can be his final baby mama? ~

~i'm still wondering who styles/dresses nigerian male musicians. (apart from dbanj who is always impeccably dressed). shoot yoself~

~This my hair is due. but it will like to wait first until it has worked the salary i paid at the hairdresser's on friday~

~friend of mine is having bad sex problems. diagnoses(pl): unskilled impatient lover and partial frigidity on her part. Cure: Male-shot of lenny's tips and dialogue. Female: porn~

~Speaking of sex, loving T-pain's "Reverse Cowgirl" yet?

~and Cliff the rat just flashed me. it might not be a bad idea to forward the sms to his MD~

~after seeing "clash of the titans" yesterday, my baby sis has decided to adopt the name "ageless funmi" and i am filing for change of name for my car. Pegasus seems more befitting than Hunter. but we'll see about that one. ~

~you should see what I saw in las buja. it was hugh hefner and the twins. without hugh hefner. ohmygah. and awww..with matching dresses. barf~

~my cousin's wedding is in 3 weeks. after committing a crime punishable buy exile in yoroculture (i adamantly refused to buy aso ebi), i now have no idea what to wear.~

~i realise that i can finally trust my instincts. I was afterall right about Salt, (proven), can spot bullshit, can tell when someone is lying, and can finally predict my period~

p.s. what would be the correct spelling for 'lols" as in plenty laughter. some razz human called Bayo seems to think it should be spelt 'lolz" as spelling it "lols" would cause it to be pronounced as "lolce". i disagree as Mercedes is spelt the way it is spelt and not with a 'z' at the end. please copy @akingbayo in your answer.

Peaze n tins nuccaz