I dont know what to say. Or rather where to start. Mum just called to say my uncle passed this morning. He wasnt exactly a blood relative. Or if he was, perhaps 8 degrees far. But growing up, he was a second father. Uncle Frank, RIP.
I cant believe im doing another post about death so soon after the last. And this time I am not sitting composed at my desk saying "Death Be Not Proud" . I am in my car .crying. Crying for the man ive known since i was old enough to distinguish between different faces. The man whose house i toddled past on my way to nursery school each morning, whose wife would had me freshly baked sugar cookies. She was my brother's'godmother and i always wished she was mine. He and his wife called eachother 'love' till the day she died of breast cancer about 5 years ago. The man who called his last daughter 'champ'. That daughter, my best friend since forever. She called me 2 days ago to say she's'getting married in a few months and wants me to help plan her wedding. Now my mother says i cant tell her her father is dead just yet. If i cant be there with her when she hears, who will.
What is left of my heart is breaking. All i can hear is silence. And my own sobbing. Dear God, am I allowed to say its too soon. If it hurts me like this, how about the kids. He was their last surviving parent. So i'm asking Why? Why now? Dont tell me about the circle or cycle of life. I dont wanna hear it! Dont tell me about the time appointed for a man to live. Or to die. I just want Uncle Frank.
What essence is there in life. Its so long and then its too short. I dont know what to say...i dont even know how to ask for comfort. Not for me. For them. How much comfort will be enough? Ehn! How much? Why couldnt You wait just a little longer? Just a few more months....till you called him.
And im scared. I'm so scared.
Rest In Peace Uncle Frank.
You were always the best. I love you.
#np: God Bless the child ~ Michelle Featherstone