Thursday, May 27, 2010

shame to bad people.com + some plain old rambling

First things first. I'm so sorry I've been away. Well sorta. I was down with tonsillitis. Bleudeh thing is still here but on tuesday it was raging. So I couldn't do Tuesday's thots. Shame to bad people

This post might be kinda random. But I dont know yet. Infact I never know the words until I'm actually writing them.

Its Uncle Frank's burial this weekend. I was wondering, Can YOU hold his kids now?

That which I feared and loathed happened. And the world did not come to an end. It didn't shake or tilt sideways. Nothing happened. Finally

That other thing which I feared, loathed and craved happened. And the world also did not come to an end. It just shook itself, shifted slightly and let things fall into place almost perfectly. Like they were like that from the beginning

You must be thinking that finally! She has gone mad! I won't blame you. :p

Haven't had a meal since saturday. Let my throat clear up so that I can resume my daily daily merecine (TFC porraige and chicken)

I also haven't been to the gym in a bit. I miss Wale. And my work outs.

God is good. Please say All the time.

Faith is the only thing that matters. I've always known that. Do you?

Did you like my last post? I think I missed out something. Another letter. To be addressed to my future inlaws. Oh well

I loved it too. :p

I've tire. Can't I just grow up already.

The end

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Letter to My Future

First things first, lets cut out the bs of "let's see what the future brings". How about I tell you exactly what I want. Agreed? I'd prolly preamble first. But i know you'll understand.

When I was in uni, there's was this guy who called a certain girl his future. I found it incredibly silly at the time. Especially in that context. I don't anymore. Amidst all the upheaval that is my life at the moment, I have seen that supposedly calm eye of a storm. That silent part of a tornado where there is wonder at the havoc nature can cause. I have seen that split second before a head on collision, the certainty, the wonder. I have seen that second, just before bullet bites into skin. The second before an orgasm. Those times when everything apart from that moment is completely irrelevant. When all you see is colour and .......life. *insert quiet smile here*. I digress? Pull me back please...or maybe not.


Dear Abimbola,

Sometime soon, perhaps in every second after i type each word, we will meet. Let me know that you are still me. That you were me. let me not wonder someday 10 years from now where I went. let nothing change me. Never complacent and never compliant. Let me never learn how not to say exactly what's in my heart.

You are not gonna grow fat. Not even after 3 kids. And ensure you get that boob job especially as you would have had a lifetime of breastfeeding both husband and babies. Your favourite colour will always be grey. It will always be elegant but not as severe as black. You will always like good food which have taken at least 90 minutes to prepare. You will always love champagne and will pass same to the kids.

You'll always be strong and relentless and never lacking in laughter. Not even in pain or disappointment. You will never lose your childlike quality. That hope that preaches sweetness. You will always have money. Tons of it. You will buy that chateau in france, that Vineyard in the valley and that 1000square foot "cottage" by the sea. You will always achieve that which we set out to do.

You will teach your children to never lack faith. That thing which distinguishes winners from everyone else. You will teach them to believe in God dirst and themselves next. You will teach them to speak the truth always. You will teach them the essence of self, of individuality and the peace of mind that comes from that. You will teach them that life is never easy, and that for every decision made, there will always be a chain of repercussions. You will teach them love. For self and for others. yo will nurture and protect. Just like your mother before you. Never criticizing, always loving and teaching and learning.

You will never stop loving music or stop deriving pleasure from it. You'll never lose the ability to jump on its back and grab its wings and surrender. That insane joy that sometimes brings tears. Just like now. You will never stop writing. Writing what your heart wants you to write. In sickness or health. In joy and in laughter. When its good or its not. Words will always be your escape. When you cant speak it, make sure you write it. Those words will never cease to soothe and to protect. Like wings on an angel.

When you pick the man you want to call your future, you will be sure that it is what you want forever. You will not decide because it is "time to settle down".

To You, the man I will call my Future

Hey,

One day I read this to you. One day I may not. Maybe i have met you, maybe I have not. But one day, I wil tilt my head slightly to the side, just like I always do when I'm considering something, but i will not be considering. Because, at that point, I will know. I will know you. Just as if that thought of you was there when I was formed. By God. For you. And you will know. You will always have known. In your conscious or your subconscious.

I will not always agree with you. And sometimes I will refuse to budge. But you will love me even then, especially then. I will not always make you happy but i'd be damned if I ever make you sad. I will love you. With my heart, and my body, and my body, and my soul, and my spirit. You will my head and I will trust you to make me your shoulders. i will always support you. Never forsaking, and always forsaking all others. I will treasure you, always. I will stay sexy and I will trust you to do the same or i'll place you on a diet. Our home will always be a place of love, light, laughter and peace.

You will love our children. You will always support them. You will hear them and show them a father's love. Never overbearing, always teaching. You will teach our sons to value women and our daughters to value themselves. You will be a pillar behind them. A father they can always walk with.

We will face life's issues together. I will always trust you, and you, me. To do that which is best. Decisions borne of love are never wrong.

We will always plan together. And execute those plans together. We will alwasy value eachother's opinion. When we have disagreements, we will settle settle them before we go to sleep because you know i'll never be able to sleep if we dont. You will forsake all others. Because you will know that I am above all others and there will never be another woman like me.

We will always have sex. At night or in the morning or in the afternoon. We will send the children to our parents when necessary. We will always have time for each other. I know that there is no such thing as an ideal man. I dont want you to be. I want you to be my man.

When we are old and wrinkled, we will sit and talk to eachother about how much we loved eachother from the start, even when we didnt know.

Sitting here at my desk, loving you even when I dont know who you are. Missing you, even if we may never have met.......

.................................................................................................................................................................

So dear future, there you have it.

p.s. I'll never know where life will take me. But these things will never change. You'll find me years from now, still dreaming, always believing. Never stoppiung to measure but to savor. Always laughing and loving. Never losing faith, my eyes towards heaven. And knowing........

Peace

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

~~Tuesdays' Thoughts~~

~~I've worked myself up and into a state today. I am extremely excited. But I wont tell you why~~

~~Behold the Senior Olympics. Thaz how me and my baby sis went to swim. I was too lazy to drive to the island. My 1st mistake. If you see the old men at this pool ehn? chai~~

~~There's this guy at my gym. O fine gan (he is very fine). All muscular and all.  Not that i'm attracted to all that. I prefer a bit of lank, which is surprising considering....... Anyways thats not why i'm even thinking about him. The problem is that this guy is always showing himself on the treadmill..(no not like that..ahan!ur mind is dirty o!!) ..yeah..showing himself. He'll increase the speed level to like 14 andd the gradient to 5.5. AHAN!!! ONLY YOU!!!. now we're usually not exactly beside each other but I always see him huffing and puffing while running (i can rhyme abi?) about 4 machines away from me. However yesterday, I almost fell off the cross trainer while staring at his monitor in awe. So i now tried to do my own and I nearly broke all my front teeth in the process. Tom and jerry style~~

~~ But really though, dont people like that make you want to trip them while they are on the machine? no? just me then~~

~~"Daddy's home" .....and its time to play (iGet this song)~~

~~Like ....Wale never listens to me. Especially when I'm screaming "i'm dying here"...why? :( yeah i'm lazy. so? gerrof jor~~

~~I saw Nicki Minaj's bum bum bum bum (i added the last two cos well you know that it deserves more than just two. It is legendary.  are you the only one in this world? Me that i'm just gyming my ill-acquired bum away.Anyways I went to cram the lyrics to her "Your love" song. Just to be closer to her. Maybe my bum will become a bum bum bum bum~~

~~I dont know why people are hating on Afrocandy. The chic is hilarious. plus she aint exactly lying. Ask the people that practice what she's preaching. Anyways I think she's hilarious~~

~~like my BBM status says, "how many frogs till I get to the prince. I'm sure he must be getting tired of waiting as well. Dont let world people carry him o. ~~

~~Now where did that come from?~~

~~I have officially overdosed on carrots. At night I salivate about the carrots i'm gonna buy in the morning and when I finally buy them the next day, I salivate about the ones i'll buy the next day. #deepsigh~~

~~ S on my chest let me get my cape on, where(?) the certificate that I change my name on...You see....if i dont grow that bum bum bum bum, just close ur eyes and attach Nicki's bum to my backside. I'll put a photo of my backside here if you need visuals ~~

~~ I kid ~~

~~ Work is a pain in my spine. Surely nothing can be more painful? I'd really love to win the lottery and then resign. Or finally marry Otedola. If only I know where he is. Thaz how i told one at church on sunday that that is my main goal in this life right now. He gave me a blank stare and said (looking rather disgustingly at me i might add) "Nana is my relative". I replied.. well she should learn to share. ~~

~~He was joking. :) I was not :| . Seriously women with rich husbands should do like a yearly "borrow my husband or a day" bonanza. ~~

~~I'm sensing I have developed gold digger tendencies..#deepsigh. Can i give myself  side - eye ? yes? ok.. O_o ~~

~~ I really really need a massage. I'm sat here and my back is cramping. A says I cant let Wale give me one. Please help me ask him #eezityaback? ~~

~~The way people #hashtag things on twirra these days ehn? #akara #freeBIS #gtfoh #unfollow. kmt. Apart from that, if you've asked me for my pin and I didnt reply, dont DM me to ask for it again. I saw it the first time. I'm not being or snobbish. We just dont have anything to say to each other. Free the issue~~

~~9ice and "whatshisfacegimmeyourpin" Ruggedman drama? hilarity and what looks like guilty con con. not like you asked me sha but...~~

~~I wanna throw a party. Especially now that i've moved back home. My rooftop is looking lonely~~

~~Seeing as my daddy refused to gimme house rent money, i've decided to paint my room blood red and my bathroom black. How much is a can of Dulux please. Knowing the guy sha i'd prolly be doing myself cos he'd say sumn like "this is a very nice shade of red|"...~~

~~Another #deepsigh~~

~~I love it when people (by people I mean Amirikans) say "I go(a)t you" ..ubersexy..~~

~~Moving into a hotel again. Not bad. Tired of buying petrol anyways. But it had better not be an atutupoyoyo hotel. I wont go! ~~

~~"i will never believe in anything again"...Fall out Boy ~~

#np: Coffee's for Closers ~ FOB

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

~~Tuesday's Thoughts : Ode to my diminishing DD cowbells~~

~~you werent exactly expecting me to write an Ode to my boobs now were
you? Lmao.Do you know how long those things are? Not my boobs...Odes!
But seriously though..HELP!!! my talents have reduced. I'm not finding
this funny at all. Not in the least bit.~~


~~About cowbells, like if you have fairly sizeable breasts and have
ever been to tejuosho market, you'd know what I mean. All those ibo
traders going (as pronounced) "cabell" "cabell" psst psst. Mortifying
really~~



~~Like I love working out and tingz. Getting addicted to the
endorphines(?) too. but...why cant my breastises stay. :(. Ode over~~


~~Have you ever tried calling one of those numbers printed behind buses.you know..the "have a problem with my driving?" numbers? just a
thought. I was gonna call one this morning when one retarded trailer
driver tried to run me off the road. Then I thought (american horror movie type-ish), what if the number actually belong to the driver of
the vehicle. And he picks it up and after you've made your complaint the tries to run you off the road, then comes down and kills you. Gory
stuff to be imagining at 6am in the morning but...~~


~~I have a coined a phrase *insert bbm uninterested emoticon here* if you've heard it before. Its LAB. Lyrically Acclaimed Bullshit. The cause for all this seriousness? I've been hyping Dr Sid's Turning
Point album on twitter and everyone is either looking the other way or telling me the album is weak cos of the lyrics. Thing is we all know Mohits dont try to be deep. They sell records. Simple! Big tunes n
tingz mehn.~


~~Like I have a new dance step *alanta*. and i've been saying like, like way too much lately :D~~


~~I have finally decided. Forget Tuface, and Djinee and M.I.....i want Don Jazzy's babies. or Don Jazy himself. All that music. That's all he needs to do. I promise i'll call him Don baba J in bed, if he wants. Just make me music. #deepsigh. this my love for music will not put me in trouble. But this "e je ka jo" song that i've had on repeat for two days now is doing me strong thing. Its the trumpets...trumpets are so lovely ;)~~


~~p.s. i take back what I said al those years ago. He doesnt sound retarded. i promise. He just sounded so off when he sang "if i tell them the koko." don't lie jor, u thought the same thing. However, he'll need to stop that "ose" business. Not sexy at all ~~


~~Like work is really bleurgh-inspiring these days. Like its like 8pm can never come quickly enough until I can finally go to the gym...although, I think its really because all the men at this Client's are either of the following: (i) married, pot-bellied, oily and sweaty, (ii)single, smelly and oily, (iii) single,razz and razz,....like i'm totally without decent pickings...humph!!!~~


~~I really need to stop saying "like'. it colours my every sentence these days. I don't think I would though. I'm loving the origin ;)~~


~~You know how i've been looking forward to going out soon? Well i'I've decided against it. Insteadd, in 3months, I'll stage a comeback and tell everyone I went away to have some work done..all post plastic surgery like (don't tell k?.)~~


~~About plastic surgery. I always said i'd have surgery after i've had all my kids..now considering i wanted to have 8kids, that woulda taken a while...so i've decided on 3. No use rocking the effects of a tummy tuck one foot into the grave~~


~~My bb is still acting mad. I should just get a new one already. And like I said the Bold 9000 is my fave and i love my little Pegasus. yeah. named the thing after my car. Just to inspire it. Dont think its working though~~


~~I looked inside the glove compartment of my car today. I have 27biros. Is there a cure or some sort of therapy for this? My juniors call me the biro collector. Cringe worthy behavior~~


~~I now drink 4 litres of water a day. Good for me n tingz. That is of course until I'm stuck in traffic on 3rd mainland bridge at 10.30pm. Lets see how luminous skin will help me then. The last time it happened....~~


~~There's this colleague of mine that like to do "i too know" irritates the fuck out of me. Tempted to slap right now. however....~~


~~I'm dreaming again. The sky is a clear pink. Ecstasy is my friend.~~


~~No i'm not on drugs~~


~~Baby baby kama roll, boy i like the way you roll. You know I gbadun your paroll. Oya tete kama roll :D .I doubt that i'll ever forget these lines ~~


~~Seriously though, you'd love Turning Point. Trust me :)....ah ah ah ah ahI feel like i'm flying over the moon~~


~~I think the German and I have finally rested. Like finally. I don't know why I feel so, but I just do. And on one hand i'm incredibly sad about it. But on the other hand, i'm also happy. We can't eachother anymore. But just think of all the fun we'd have. :( (: ~~


#np: Over the Moon ~ Dr Sid ft K-Switch (some like, some like me not. some like me hot)


p.s.: This post is a day late for two reasons: (i) i wanted yesterday to be about my brother and (ii) the client shut the server down before I could post it.


--
Sent from my mobile device

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

~What little brothers are made of~

You know how we have Mothers' day and Fathers' day. Apparently, there's also Brothers' day. :s abi? Yeah i'm confused too. Didnt know as well. But that's entirely besides the point. Thing is my aunt is still in Nigeria, and still staying in my room and although I'd moved out for a bit, I was totally missing home. So sunday night I decided to sleep in my little brother's room. And mosquitoes bit the hell out of me. I didnt exactly complain but he understood. When I got home yesterday, braced for part two, I met the room arranged, mosquito free and the second single bed laid with fresh sheets. My baby brother was looking out for me. As usual.

I was with a friend yesterday and he said something about little brothers being angels. I may have disagreed with him. Growing up with mine was pure torture at times. He blackmailed me for a bit, tried to stick freshly put out candle in my right eye, stabbed me with a fork, made me burn my finger in the cigarette lighter thingy, and connived with my older brother to lock me up in a wardrobe. And that's just the stuff I remember. but as we grew older, we grew closer.

Now my memories of him are made of the music we listen to together, the girls we talk about, the laundry he helps me with (for a fee), the car he helps me clean (again, for a fee), the times i irritate the hell out of him and he sticks with it, the video games we play together, all the times he stays awake to open the gate for me when I get home and that adorable way he smiles when I tease him about stuff. He's all growed up now. Just like me.

Little brothers are made of rocks and feathers. of noise, music and tantrums. They are made of pranks and plans. They are made of strong shoulders and tissue paper, of fresh laundry and dirty socks. Of ants in your lingerie drawer and of whites turned pink cause they forgot to take out that red sweater when they helped you load your clothes in the machine. They are made of petty errands and breakfast in bed whether or not you are ill. They are made of trips to car service centers and company to a movie. They are made of headless barbie dolls and superman comics. And so much more.

My friend, my wingman, my angel, my 'firstborn", my brother.

My baby brother.

#np: If my heart was a house ~ Owl City
(My heart is a house and you Dipshit are most definitely home.)

P.s. If you're leaving a comment, let me know what your baby brother means to you (if you've got one)

Friday, May 7, 2010

~While I was Sleeping~

I started this post yesterday on my Blackberry and the stupid thing has seen it fit to die. perhaps this time eternally. It appears that the charging port and the battery and the chargers are faulty. So i'm really upset right now. Not just cos I cant access my post and I dont remember all of what I'd written, but cos I hate all other blackberrys that are not Bold 1. *insert BBm wailing emoticon* Anyways, i'll make up the post as I go along.

While I was sleeping, I dreamt. It wasnt your normal pre-recorded( i have used this word alot in the past two days) dreams, it was more pay-as-you-go like. I was at my friend's yesterday afternoon and fell asleep on the living room couch while he was on the phone. Then I started dreaming exactly what he was saying on the phone. Cool right?

So I'm at his workplace (sorry cant disclose where cos its a true story) and there's this two married people(not a couple. as in married to other people) who are having an affair. I see them being advised by their friend to seek help to end the relationship. Apparently its been going on for about two years. I see them saying the love each other. (O_o) yah! Then cut back to his house where the bathroom has miraculously changed to all pink (Eek! O_O). And there's a baby diaper changing station (O_o).

Sadly thats all I remember of that. When I asked him later though he said the person he was talking to wanted to change the colour scheme of her bathroom. So I guess I wasnt too off the mark. :D

Seeing as my Title promised a dream, I'll tell the one I had at night. Now i've been totally crushing on Djinee ever since I saw that Overkilling video. Omdzzz, he can take it for dayszzzz *blush*. But the thing is, if you follow me on twitter, you'll know that I adore M.I. All that said, I dreamt of M.I last night. like I finally has the opportunity to declare my intentions to kidnap him and make him sing to me for the rest of both our lives. And what did i do? I started gushing about Djinee. Like seriously!!! *insert disgusted look* And Mr Incredible was just looking at me as I was ranting. At some point, I broke into "Alanta". Now everytime I say "alanta' on twitter, people must assume I really mean alanta. I dont. Thing is I assume that BBm dancing emoticon is actually alanta. Its such a happy dance step. You must agree with me. And that emoticon is the height of excitement. Yeah so....I broke into alanta in front of M.I.

*insert another disgusted look*

I'm obviously disgusted at my dream persona. What utter crock. Now in real life, when I finally meet M.I, i'll wave shyly (casual like) and say I love his music, although some of the lyrics are off sometimes, but I think he's uber talented. I'll also tell him to change his stylist. I dont pretend to be a fashionista, at all. But surely he must be tired of those bomber (leather to you) jackets. Surely!!! But then i do love him dearly so maybe not.

Notice how Djinee does not feature in my real life? Thats cos I'm already over him *sob sob bleh* I bought his album. Its ok. The music isnt the problem. The real problem is the album photo. He looks O_o (one kain). and he had this fugly thing around his neck. I'm uber uber way way to much way sad about the turn of events. I was having such a lovely time fantasizing about him. Oh well...thats how the river blows and the wind flows ( i may have mixed that last bit up but I cant be asked to go back and change it :D)

In other music related news, I am in love with Dr Sid's "Turning Point". Forget that you already know 3/4 out of all the songs on the album, monster hits that they were (in L's words). The album is made up of so much feel good music. I havent been out this year, but this album makes me to squeeze into my too tight mini dresses and go dancing. I love how Don Jazzy is trying new things. The man is indeed a genius. BUY EET! i wish i could buy them online so that i'm sure the money is entering Sidney's pocket. The first two songs reming me of a time when I was blissfully happy. I still am happy. But everything was so rose-colored then. Champagne and bartops. That sort of ish.

So...you may see me out tonight. If you do, be sure that in my head, i'll be #nowplaying You can never beat me on the dance (dance) floor "When this song comes on" ~ Dr Sid

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

~~Tuesday's Thoughts~~

~~My Butt is not my own but does Wale(my personal trainer (thats right! i have a personal trainer..yay me) always have to make me do squats in front of the mirror? And all those lechs staring at my butt. I did say I wanted to save the butt(it came to me when I put on weight) but.,..ahan. i'm shy~~

~~That being said, I love working out. I really do. and Wale is how shall I say...merveilleux... but my body is really hurting :( and yet I still want to go back. Lezz not forget that I'm walking like a stuffed rooster (the top of my thighs hurt so I cant really stand up straight. Kinda like squat-walking.~~

~~About Smelly balls...saw him this morning. He has lost a bit of weight. He did have 95,000 stolen from him. :( on his behalf..Balls may not be so smelly anymore ~~

~~I confess that I'm always full of glee when "waka" or give someone who overtakes me the "finger" . I know. totally unladylike. But thats's not even the issue. See I never brush my hair before leaving home in the mornings(eternal tardiness). So imagine this, you overtake a seemingly sane looking human on 3rd mainland bridge, then she turns her black, half made up face towards you, bares her teeth and either "waka"s u or gives you the finger. Yep! that was me. Enough to give someone a heart attack i tell ya!~~

~~Speaking about heart attacks, i nearly had one on my friend's behalf last week, when his neighbour's gateman rammed a visitor's car (he'd been instructed to wash it) into his 2009 Honda accord. Now, i've been bunking at his since my extended family came back for the wedding (it went brilliantly. I hate wedding duty. and they have refused to go back) and i usually park my car in that exact spot. Spot of bad luck i tell ya! and the bleeding gateman has run away. Yoruba ninja's correct me if this is wrong but iru oshi wo lele yi" ~~

~~ Wedding duty..mmmm...remember i told you i refused to buy aso ebi (apparently that is a sin repayable only by annihilation ...RMBE(rolling my big eyes.)(not one word about my eyes being small...#eezityablog?) anyways, my aunt was now rubbing the aso ebi in my eyes....smh..i may have encouraged her sha...was making sad weepy sounding sounds about regretting my decision. Bwahahaha..in my mind I was like...."kmt..just wait for me on that wedding day)~My mum made my dress. I loved it, it was a hit. My younger brother guaranteed that I'd have toasters...i did..*blush* it was a soft wavy deep purple chiffon thingy with pink underlay...hard to describe sha...but it was delish...and my aunty was doing me "eyes is pushing me' ...oh well it was either that or "stupid small gel"~ Anyways, back to wedding duty...chai! I had my ass in the air for half of the entire reception. Picking money!!!!!!!!!!!!!Smh..It was almost humiliating. Even my daddy came to spray my cousin and he couldnt spare even one N200 for me!!! kai...the good thing about picking money is that when they spray stuff like N1000, N500, N200 notes, they manage the fall nicely..HOWEVER, eez all those yeye, mumu N100,N50, N20 notes that will now be dancing around. now imagine my ass in the air, rotating and wiggling on top say i'm trying to hunt down one stoopid N20 note...#deepsigh...yes it happened.~~

~~Anyways, in a "Waving Flag" tune, "when i get married, dont spray me money , put in an envelope, just like a human being" (rhyming n tingz iz not my thing. but u understand)~~

~~I am grateful to God for the peace He has given me. I am chasing after nothing. Anything that is mine will come to me. I can honestly say that I am in a place of peace~~

~~kai, thaz how I went to jabo at an office meeting. On top say they'll give me free vodka/tonic after. smh,omg, everything everything~~

~~I'm laughing abit as I'm writing this post. And my belle is paining me...*wailing...Waleeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~

~~I found my house. The one I am going to rent. I love it to lickle bits of heaven sized pieces of rainbow dust.....i know how silly that sounds but thats just how I feel about the place...now to get the rent money....ABRACABRABRA...see i cant even spell it :(~~ *God is able*

~~Did i mention that the kitchen in this place is divine? Imagine all the dinner parties I'd have!~~

~~About the German...another deepsigh.....~~

~~My younger brother is on twitter. Surely he will block me. I've had my eye scanning his timeline since. That being said, i love him to tiny lickle bits. He's the male version of me.(((hugs))).~~

~~Loving Lady Antebellum. You should too. My faves are "If I knew then" and the obvious "Need you now"~~

All that being said,

Have a lovely week people.

p.s. Big thank you to all my followers. I remember when it was just 5. Please refer people. I do love to write and even more when people read. Godbless