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~~Tuesday's Thoughts : Ode to my diminishing DD cowbells~~

~~you werent exactly expecting me to write an Ode to my boobs now were
you? Lmao.Do you know how long those things are? Not my boobs...Odes!
But seriously though..HELP!!! my talents have reduced. I'm not finding
this funny at all. Not in the least bit.~~

~~About cowbells, like if you have fairly sizeable breasts and have
ever been to tejuosho market, you'd know what I mean. All those ibo
traders going (as pronounced) "cabell" "cabell" psst psst. Mortifying

~~Like I love working out and tingz. Getting addicted to the
endorphines(?) too. but...why cant my breastises stay. :(. Ode over~~

~~Have you ever tried calling one of those numbers printed behind know..the "have a problem with my driving?" numbers? just a
thought. I was gonna call one this morning when one retarded trailer
driver tried to run me off the road. Then I thought (american horror movie type-ish), what if the number actually belong to the driver of
the vehicle. And he picks it up and after you've made your complaint the tries to run you off the road, then comes down and kills you. Gory
stuff to be imagining at 6am in the morning but...~~

~~I have a coined a phrase *insert bbm uninterested emoticon here* if you've heard it before. Its LAB. Lyrically Acclaimed Bullshit. The cause for all this seriousness? I've been hyping Dr Sid's Turning
Point album on twitter and everyone is either looking the other way or telling me the album is weak cos of the lyrics. Thing is we all know Mohits dont try to be deep. They sell records. Simple! Big tunes n
tingz mehn.~

~~Like I have a new dance step *alanta*. and i've been saying like, like way too much lately :D~~

~~I have finally decided. Forget Tuface, and Djinee and M.I.....i want Don Jazzy's babies. or Don Jazy himself. All that music. That's all he needs to do. I promise i'll call him Don baba J in bed, if he wants. Just make me music. #deepsigh. this my love for music will not put me in trouble. But this "e je ka jo" song that i've had on repeat for two days now is doing me strong thing. Its the trumpets...trumpets are so lovely ;)~~

~~p.s. i take back what I said al those years ago. He doesnt sound retarded. i promise. He just sounded so off when he sang "if i tell them the koko." don't lie jor, u thought the same thing. However, he'll need to stop that "ose" business. Not sexy at all ~~

~~Like work is really bleurgh-inspiring these days. Like its like 8pm can never come quickly enough until I can finally go to the gym...although, I think its really because all the men at this Client's are either of the following: (i) married, pot-bellied, oily and sweaty, (ii)single, smelly and oily, (iii) single,razz and razz, i'm totally without decent pickings...humph!!!~~

~~I really need to stop saying "like'. it colours my every sentence these days. I don't think I would though. I'm loving the origin ;)~~

~~You know how i've been looking forward to going out soon? Well i'I've decided against it. Insteadd, in 3months, I'll stage a comeback and tell everyone I went away to have some work done..all post plastic surgery like (don't tell k?.)~~

~~About plastic surgery. I always said i'd have surgery after i've had all my considering i wanted to have 8kids, that woulda taken a i've decided on 3. No use rocking the effects of a tummy tuck one foot into the grave~~

~~My bb is still acting mad. I should just get a new one already. And like I said the Bold 9000 is my fave and i love my little Pegasus. yeah. named the thing after my car. Just to inspire it. Dont think its working though~~

~~I looked inside the glove compartment of my car today. I have 27biros. Is there a cure or some sort of therapy for this? My juniors call me the biro collector. Cringe worthy behavior~~

~~I now drink 4 litres of water a day. Good for me n tingz. That is of course until I'm stuck in traffic on 3rd mainland bridge at 10.30pm. Lets see how luminous skin will help me then. The last time it happened....~~

~~There's this colleague of mine that like to do "i too know" irritates the fuck out of me. Tempted to slap right now. however....~~

~~I'm dreaming again. The sky is a clear pink. Ecstasy is my friend.~~

~~No i'm not on drugs~~

~~Baby baby kama roll, boy i like the way you roll. You know I gbadun your paroll. Oya tete kama roll :D .I doubt that i'll ever forget these lines ~~

~~Seriously though, you'd love Turning Point. Trust me :)....ah ah ah ah ahI feel like i'm flying over the moon~~

~~I think the German and I have finally rested. Like finally. I don't know why I feel so, but I just do. And on one hand i'm incredibly sad about it. But on the other hand, i'm also happy. We can't eachother anymore. But just think of all the fun we'd have. :( (: ~~

#np: Over the Moon ~ Dr Sid ft K-Switch (some like, some like me not. some like me hot)

p.s.: This post is a day late for two reasons: (i) i wanted yesterday to be about my brother and (ii) the client shut the server down before I could post it.

Sent from my mobile device


neefemi said…
lol, your randoms kill me... so i'm gaining ass, this is good and the boobs have remained thank God but the gut refuses to go, so i'm thinking that i will be on that plastic surgery tip a lot sooner #dontjudgeme :)
Chari said…
Ah but you are random oh! ahnahn! *pheeewww
Myne Whitman said…
Plenty plenty randoms sha, lol. Me when I lose weight, everything goes, breasties, butts, you name it. But if you were teased cabell, you should be happy it is going abi? LOL..
Fabulo-la said…
Like I think its about time I like got the Dr Sid album. Like dont you think so?

Lool Ok that sounded like an annoying white girl I would be itching to throatpunch...
Ive been feeling like throat punching alot..
Ok Im rambling..cant rmba the original comment...*shrugs* oh wells...
Jayla. said…
Did i miss d story of the German on dis blog? What post did it start from abeg.

* children? really? u will birth all of them or adopt?

My skin doesn't heal properly and always grows keloids so things like tattoos, C section & surgeries are out of d question. Poor me :(
Audeo said…
@neefemi judging at all....if i could even do it now, i would.
Audeo said… didnt exactly mind the teasing jor. See I called them talents
Audeo said…
@Fabulola I'm serious need to get that album, like....i mean its lovely.

Audeo said…
@jayla...abt the german...there wasnt an actual post. but i started mentioning him from april 6th.

The children, i've always wanted to adopt kids in addition to mine. Will have to discuss that with whatever husband i marry sha but i know someone who adopted twins ut they dont live with her. She pays all their bills and she goes to see them at the orphanage as much as possible.

I want to get a tattoo this year...however, my lily liverednes knows no bounds. will see sha
Ms.O said…
wow so random! Plastic surgery??? err no thanx! I want to lose boobs!!! I have to buy new bra's every few months! Kill me now! #okbye!
Jemilah said…
Hey the song that goes
Baby baby kama roll, boy i like the way you roll. You know I gbadun your paroll. Oya tete kama roll who's it by?

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