My cousin is getting married this weekend and I am amazed at her courage. Her willingness to "forsake all others" and all those other marraige vows. I asked her how she can be so trusting. She says it is part faith, part love. Nothing scares me more than that act of surrender. The submission to fate and the irrevocable searing of one's life with that of another. The re-alignment of one's dreams. The helplessness.
The surrender that terrifies is not that of loving someone. It is the one of being loved. To quote Carson Mccullers,
"Therefore the value and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself. It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover, and with the best of reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any posssible relation with the beloved, even if the experience can cause him only pain".
The thing is the lover can take his love away anytime. leaving the beloved bereft. "Note" says its about control. In some ways, it is. In other ways, its protection, self preservation. Gifts given can be reclaimed. I know.
Marraiges were made to last, right? at least that was what God must have had in mind when he institutionalized it. But there's so many broken marraiges today. It makes one wonder.
So I just prayed for my cousin and if you read this post, please say a little prayer for her. She is marrying a man that she loves, a man that loves her in return. May it see them till death.
#np: Faith, Hope and Love ~ Starsailor