Wednesday, April 21, 2010

On Faith and all other things hopeful


My cousin is getting married this weekend and I am amazed at her courage. Her willingness to "forsake all others" and all those other marraige vows. I asked her how she can be so trusting. She says it is part faith, part love. Nothing scares me more than that act of surrender. The submission to fate and the irrevocable searing of one's life with that of another. The re-alignment of one's dreams. The helplessness.

The surrender that terrifies is not that of loving someone. It is the one of being loved. To quote Carson Mccullers,

"Therefore the value and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself. It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover, and with the best of reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any posssible relation with the beloved, even if the experience can cause him only pain".

The thing is the lover can take his love away anytime. leaving the beloved bereft. "Note" says its about control. In some ways, it is. In other ways, its protection, self preservation. Gifts given can be reclaimed. I know.

Marraiges were made to last, right? at least that was what God must have had in mind when he institutionalized it. But there's so many broken marraiges today. It makes one wonder.

So I just prayed for my cousin and if you read this post, please say a little prayer for her. She is marrying a man that she loves, a man that loves her in return. May it see them till death.

#np: Faith, Hope and Love ~ Starsailor

5 comments:

neefemi said...

Amen and i feel the exact same fear...but like she said its part faith, part love and total trust in GOD...

Have a good weekend

suzzy said...

Hmmmm I feel u! The marriage institution has been abused so much it's enough to scare anyone. But still on still my mum says at the point where u meet the one you're willing to give everything up for and be with u'll know and all fears would be erased.

@onyechi said...

*now saying a prayer for her*.....Amen!!!

Olalekt said...

Amen .... as a guy , i sometimes have tht fear but .......

Audeo said...

Thanks guys. Its just kinda hard to wrap my head around the idea. Its one thing to date someone and quite another to marry the person. Like what if they just up and leave!after reading this post one of my mates said I have a serious trust/commitment/control issues. Maybe I do. But,....for now, it works just perfect