Skip to main content

On Faith and all other things hopeful


My cousin is getting married this weekend and I am amazed at her courage. Her willingness to "forsake all others" and all those other marraige vows. I asked her how she can be so trusting. She says it is part faith, part love. Nothing scares me more than that act of surrender. The submission to fate and the irrevocable searing of one's life with that of another. The re-alignment of one's dreams. The helplessness.

The surrender that terrifies is not that of loving someone. It is the one of being loved. To quote Carson Mccullers,

"Therefore the value and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself. It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover, and with the best of reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any posssible relation with the beloved, even if the experience can cause him only pain".

The thing is the lover can take his love away anytime. leaving the beloved bereft. "Note" says its about control. In some ways, it is. In other ways, its protection, self preservation. Gifts given can be reclaimed. I know.

Marraiges were made to last, right? at least that was what God must have had in mind when he institutionalized it. But there's so many broken marraiges today. It makes one wonder.

So I just prayed for my cousin and if you read this post, please say a little prayer for her. She is marrying a man that she loves, a man that loves her in return. May it see them till death.

#np: Faith, Hope and Love ~ Starsailor
Labels:

Comments

Nee Fe Mi said…
Amen and i feel the exact same fear...but like she said its part faith, part love and total trust in GOD...

Have a good weekend
April 21, 2010 at 4:24 PM
suzzy said…
Hmmmm I feel u! The marriage institution has been abused so much it's enough to scare anyone. But still on still my mum says at the point where u meet the one you're willing to give everything up for and be with u'll know and all fears would be erased.
April 21, 2010 at 5:45 PM
@onyechi said…
*now saying a prayer for her*.....Amen!!!
April 22, 2010 at 9:08 AM
Olalekt said…
Amen .... as a guy , i sometimes have tht fear but .......
April 22, 2010 at 2:03 PM
Abimbola Bamigboye said…
Thanks guys. Its just kinda hard to wrap my head around the idea. Its one thing to date someone and quite another to marry the person. Like what if they just up and leave!after reading this post one of my mates said I have a serious trust/commitment/control issues. Maybe I do. But,....for now, it works just perfect
April 23, 2010 at 4:38 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Replacements don't fit

I've always believed that there's just one person for each of us. That one soulmate. Yin to your Yang. Only one person that will ever complete u so perfectly. One true love. And I've also always believed that everyone will meet that person at one point in their lives. And with that person, you only get one shot at it. But I've also always believed that sometimes it may work out and other times it won't. But that does not make it any less true. I've also always believed that before and after that one person there would be others. Mirages if you like. Mirrors but not exactly mirror images. And out of all of that we pick one. And it works out. But most times you never forget. Its been 8months since we split up. And yes I have moved on and I'm happy and restored, but I yearn for him. Not in my body as with a lover's touch, but in my soul. There's many things I'd like to share with him cos I know he'd understand. Many questions I'd like to ask...
7 comments
Read more

~What little brothers are made of~

You know how we have Mothers' day and Fathers' day. Apparently, there's also Brothers' day. :s abi? Yeah i'm confused too. Didnt know as well. But that's entirely besides the point. Thing is my aunt is still in Nigeria, and still staying in my room and although I'd moved out for a bit, I was totally missing home. So sunday night I decided to sleep in my little brother's room. And mosquitoes bit the hell out of me. I didnt exactly complain but he understood. When I got home yesterday, braced for part two, I met the room arranged, mosquito free and the second single bed laid with fresh sheets. My baby brother was looking out for me. As usual. I was with a friend yesterday and he said something about little brothers being angels. I may have disagreed with him. Growing up with mine was pure torture at times. He blackmailed me for a bit, tried to stick freshly put out candle in my right eye, stabbed me with a fork, made me burn my finger in the cigarette li...
9 comments
Read more

Thursday I'm in Love ;)

Lol...scratch my title. Or dont scratch it. Not yet, cos its not complete. I'm in love, yes. With love. I know, beat me. You were expecting something else weren't you? I've missed my blog and blogsville so much. My google reader has over 100 unread items. :s. Work has just been horrid and as I type, I am on hard bought borrowed time. Nevertheless, lemme make this count. Its thursday, and I am in love with love. Not just for love's sake, but cos I'm learning new stuff everyday. You know that passage about love in Corinthians? Its so complete. Please read here : LOVE And lately i've been thinking about it alot, and about what it means. But I wont preach about that, the bible is already explicit in that aspect. Instead, you know how a picture is worth a thousand words? Enjoy... Do you agree? The part about highly desirable makes me smile. And if you've been reading my blog since last year, you'd know that I concur completely with the weakened brain, s...
8 comments
Read more