Sunday, November 27, 2011

Who Am I

If I asked you to describe yourself, what words would you use? Would you describe yourself in a one line sentence, stating the obvious? Would you be funny, smart, beautiful, tall and 25? Or would you be melancholic, choleric, sanguine and a libra. Would you be sexy and have oloju come and do? Would you be dedicated and courageous and driven and afraid? Lol...I just described myself as I would have, a long time ago.

However in recent times, I have realized that I cannot describe myself in those words. Because doing that takes all the wonder out of it. If I said I was funny would you not wonder how I got to be funny? Or if I said I am by nature a lonely person, if you have met me you would immediately argue with that. But that would be because you do not know me. You do not know the experiences that have shaped me, my life. The little and big things that have combined themselves into forming me, as you see me.

Which is why when I started reading Bobo Omotayo's "London Life Lagos Living" I was immediately captivated by it. Right from the Prologue. I said to myself, "he knows, he's got it".

I have come to know myself a bit well in the past few months and I am still learning myself. Why? because to the constantly stirred broth that is me, new experiences are being added every minute. I am constantly changing and I am blessed for it. But today;

I am the scar above my left eye after a pillow fight with my brothers

I am the prayer to God for a baby sister when my mother was 7 months pregnant

I am the cholera that ravaged me that my father thought that I would die

I am the Danielle Steel novel I read when I was 7.

I am my first kiss

I am the tears I shed for my older brother when he wouldnt come home

I am the silence in the dark cupboard my brothers locked me in

I am the first iced lolly I ever had

I am my first steps that I dont even remember

I am the pap i puked down my father's shirt because all I wanted was mashed potatoes and vegetables

I am my first day at Olashore. Complete with round geeky glasses

I am my set 6 class

I am my suspension letter

I am the As on my WAEC result

I am the songs I sang on stage at University

I am the first copy of Calais I found at a roadside bookseller at 14

I am the wedding dresses I sketched at 13 and the slef-destroyin lily I drew at 15

I am the tears I shed after a relationship

I am the increase in my heartbeat the first time I heard "Heartbeats" by Jose Gonzalez

I am One Tree Hill, Season 4 Episode 9

I am my resignation letter and my search for different

I am the dreams that I have let go and I am also the dreams I have refused to let go

I am my silent smile and my silent anguish

I am my pilgrim soul

Now Playing: Collide - Howie Day


Ms Dang said...

As usual u never cease to hit a nerve. I read all ur posts but rarely comment. Today I have no choice but to. Stand up and receive the applause. *PS: Yay I'm 1st*

Blessing said...

LMBO @ oloju come and do!

Lovely post!!! All that we've been through truly shapes us into who we are today and who we will be. *smiles*

Myne Whitman said...

Too true @ Blessing. stirring piece.

JRS said...

heard that "oloju come and do" from saeon and i was like O_o... impressive description ...we are who we are

aeedeeaee said...

Like Ms. Dang, i read and don't comment. i had to this time...and frankly, i do not know what to say...


Muse Origins said...

I don't even know how to describe myself. It's cause for concern...i think

Muse Origins
Muse Origins FB

kockajäveln said...

I love this blog!!=)

Lover boy said...

this is a good post

call tracking said...

This post is so powerful, the force of the writer and the emotion is just so raw and overflowing.

Anonymous said...

Audeo, I bow , knowing ourselves, lets continue to restore and re-invent ourselves in positive ways