meaningful ramblings

~~Ever heard the phrase Ma wo oju Uche (no look Uche face/ dont look at Uche's face)? I heard it two or so years ago and for the life of me I couldnt fathom what it was supposed to me. Ladies and gentlemen, I have come to the end of my pondering. At 7am this morning, it hit me. i was in the shower when it did. And my verdict? Yoruba people are wicked. why? Uche is a unisex name right? Medusa was a woman right? (not sure about that thoe...the people in that period dint discriminate..man, woman, goat..etc) And you couldnt look in medusa's face too.  See.....(u dont see? :'( it made sense at 7am). But why use Uche thoe...it makes sense jor. Dont look at Uche = Dont look at Medusa = Mind where you put your eye = Dont be convetious...see...are you proud of me yet? ~~ ~~Yoruba movies are hilarious. I stayed up last night watching one called Ipese on African Magic yoruba (dont ask me how. It had subtitles). It left me in stitches. Everything was a comic freakshow. If you are eve...

Listless....lifeless.. a million ways more than tired........drained....used...emotionless... a million ways more than uninterested.... Staring through unseeing eyes at an apparent interminable future....fragile and faithless... a million ways more than unhappy.... Rainfall and teardrops.....eyelids heavy...tearglands empty...a million ways far from sadness Voices echoing in my mind...a city left behind...lonely and alone...the grafitti of time...unending...a million ways far from empty..... Crashing and burning...smoke filled tents, mind wandering.....fingers straying...plastic smiles...waiting to play the joker.....a million times more than a prank And the world keeps spinning, but here I am bowing, shoulders aching .....in the middle of it all.....adrift #nowplaying........

Once upon a time, there was this boy I thought I'd give everything for. Everything. I wasnt in love with him. But there was a darkness in his eyes that called to me. A certain sort of pain that called my name....,. We met one christmas, what year it was I forget now. It was at churrasco. I was rocking rolled up boyfriend jeans, ankle boots, a white tank top and red lipstick(i rocked rolled up boyfriend jeans before princess ri ri..lol..). I looked across the bar and I saw him staring at me. Half smile on his face. And I threw my head back and laughed. He walked over to me and said "i'm going to marry you one day". And i cocked my head to one side and said "really now"...... I have always had intense relationships. Deep sadness and deep happiness. Does the fact that I mention the sadness first mean that its always been more sadness than happiness? This was no less intense than any before it. But in some ways, more. We were never seriously physically int...

I'm sat here, staring out of the double windows of the audit room and out onto the streets of VI, deep in thought. I've just read T.Notes  's post on hope and it left me thinking about how life would suck big time if one did not or could not hope.... Where would I be if i could not hope that tomorrow will be better than today? I see the homeless roaming the streets at night. Just opposite the office is a woman asleep on a bench. She's wrapped herself up tightly, no doubt to protect herself from mosquitoes. But what about rain? what if it rains? but i know that she has gone to sleep hoping that rain will not come tonight; for if it did, where would she sleep? there'll be no escaping it... Where would we be if we could not hope that suffering and pain would come to an end? There's so much sadness in this world...if only we coul see...In the heart of a seemingly happy person lies a sadness that only he knows..and a hope that one day the sadness will end. And th...

Its been just over a year since Mikey passed. I wanted to write this post that day, but I couldnt. So i'm writing it now. I am remembering Michael Jackson. What do you see in your mind when you think of MJ? Does he cross your mind as he does mine? And if he does, what do you think? What words would you associate with him? .....I remember the day he died. I fell slightly ill, especially after I'd driven in the rain (1 hour traffic on awolowo road), with my windows down and my car stereo on full blast playing MJ's music. Letting the world know in case they didnt. Mikey was gone from here. Freed from his anguish and his pain. From judging and prying eyes and those who sought to profit from every move he ever made. I dont remember when I first fell in love with MJ. When he smiled at me through the telly and in my child's heart i decided that I'll always love this man. His music preaching love and compassion. All through the years, with every single seemingly bizar...

I'm in a very pissy mood today. Close to breaking down/losing it in fact. Ive got hormones ricocheting inside me. Its a fucking nut parade I tell you. I've gone from extremely pissed to tears in the space of one minute. Ovulation is a bitch. Give me a fucking mike and nipple patches and I might as well be Lil' kim with the way i'm cussing. Not that I care you know. It is after all my blog. So if i decide to write out the lyrics to Lil' kim's "eat my pussy right", the best you can do is cringe, not come back (please dont go, ill miss u), preach at me, or whatever else you think i'd care about. Let me not even start cussing about the matter of hypocrisy. i'll be here the whole fucking day. And part of tomorrow. And maybe i'll win a blogger award for longest post. No? shrugs Even the elemnts are against me. I walk out of the bank, to go to the bank and its blazing hot. Like satan's backside(don't ask how I know that.). And because ...

With one eye I am watching the Ghana - Uraguay match. Its penalty time. With one eye I am typing this post. But my mind is all over the place. I'll tell you why in a second. Most people mistake my strength of will for stubborness............... And that where that post ended. This one came instead...... .................................................................... I am a creature of will. By will God created me. I am a woman of faith. By faith I live and survive. That said, I am one of the most stubborn people I know. With a sometimes quiet and deceptively diplomatic approach, I defend the things I believe in. I am reponsible for my own actions. Me and me only. I decide who I love and who I trust. And I seal my fate whenever I make those decisions. Neither family nor foe nor friends have a say. Am I ranting? Perhaps yes. I trust that God has laid in front of me the path of my life. And that every decision I have ever made and will ever make will be the decis...