Skip to main content

Sometimes,my heart stops

I'm smiling. Not the smile that signifies that one is pleased with something. But the type that signifies the state of one's life. The type that allows laughter to spring forth. Not the laughter of amusement,but the one induced by joy.

So I may say I am joyful. I don't need to say why,you already know. So I'll say something you don't know. My heart stops. No not in a heart attack way,else I'll probably not be writing this post, it stops for a second everytime you smile at me. For in that smile I am reborne. I feel us growing, towards each other, and no I am not afraid. I feel us feeling our way around this thing we've discovered.Not as one looking for the right path in darkness, but as one seeking to try new things, and that in itself is a signal of courage. I hear your thots as clearly as if they were mine, and I know you hear mine as clearly as if they were yours. Your eyes tell me everything you don't say with your mouth.

So I'm sitting here, growing and learning and knowing and loving.

Here's to you, for everytime my heart stops beating.

#nowplaying 'Light on my shoulder' ~ Susie Suh

Comments

Sisem E. Naidem said…
You do have a way with words, don't you? This is SO BEAUTIFUL! I wish both of you the best in this blossoming relationship. The rest of us will just grope, mope and hope...
Nee Fe Mi said…
very nice - that right there is special - wish u all d best

Popular posts from this blog

~What little brothers are made of~

You know how we have Mothers' day and Fathers' day. Apparently, there's also Brothers' day. :s abi? Yeah i'm confused too. Didnt know as well. But that's entirely besides the point. Thing is my aunt is still in Nigeria, and still staying in my room and although I'd moved out for a bit, I was totally missing home. So sunday night I decided to sleep in my little brother's room. And mosquitoes bit the hell out of me. I didnt exactly complain but he understood. When I got home yesterday, braced for part two, I met the room arranged, mosquito free and the second single bed laid with fresh sheets. My baby brother was looking out for me. As usual. I was with a friend yesterday and he said something about little brothers being angels. I may have disagreed with him. Growing up with mine was pure torture at times. He blackmailed me for a bit, tried to stick freshly put out candle in my right eye, stabbed me with a fork, made me burn my finger in the cigarette li...

The Replacements don't fit

I've always believed that there's just one person for each of us. That one soulmate. Yin to your Yang. Only one person that will ever complete u so perfectly. One true love. And I've also always believed that everyone will meet that person at one point in their lives. And with that person, you only get one shot at it. But I've also always believed that sometimes it may work out and other times it won't. But that does not make it any less true. I've also always believed that before and after that one person there would be others. Mirages if you like. Mirrors but not exactly mirror images. And out of all of that we pick one. And it works out. But most times you never forget. Its been 8months since we split up. And yes I have moved on and I'm happy and restored, but I yearn for him. Not in my body as with a lover's touch, but in my soul. There's many things I'd like to share with him cos I know he'd understand. Many questions I'd like to ask...

Today I do not choose to BE happy. Today I choose happiness

Once upon a time I sought happiness like it was a prize to be won. I ran after it. Half crazed like, like Will Smith from the movie, searching for someone to buy his damned machines. Trying and failing. I took care to question every situation, and it was always the same one. Am I happy here? Failing to understand that although I had grasped the general context that my happiness was my responsibility, I wasn't to run after it like it was going anywhere. You see, with every "today I choose to be happy" I chanted to myself, a mantra which I picked up from if I remember correctly, the diary of Anne Frank, the happiness I so craved slipped farther and farther away from me. As if sensing my desperation and deigning to show me the appropriate amount of pepper I probably deserved for simply refusing to let things be, happiness refused to show its mischievous face. Oh sure enough I knew it was present, but I just couldn't see it. Unclear glimpses here and there, a faint echo o...