Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The One I didn't post in 2010 and protecting my heart

I'm perhaps 30,000feet above ground level as I write this post. No I am not high, although I kinda wish I am because in as much as I love flying, delayed flights blow majorly. The monitor above me told me so. See I am on my way to London. Although I wont send this post until I actually get there, I feel really cool sitting in my first class with my laptop open, typing this post . nothing to be excited about. I was upgraded and its Royal Air Maroc. See wetin shant gree do me but there's no way in hell (which for now is Lagos, considering the heat and the traffic) that I was gonna pay 278k for a virgin atlantic economy ticket. So when my travel agent suggested the airline, i nearly kissed my mind I did sha and this way I can say that I have been to Casablanca (talk to the hand smiley for anyone that says otherwise. Thats my story and I am sticking to it). Anyways back to 30,000 feet. A second ago, I looked out of the window and onto the desert below and I am still here marvelling. Its not like I haven't seen desert before o! But i have never noticed it as I have this. I am in awe of the vastness and the beauty that is the desert below me. The ridges in the sand. In my imagination I can feel the sand sticking to my face, my skin made slick by sweat, the heat making me want to run around naked. The desert has inspired me so because I am reminded of the awesomeness of God's Hand. The ability to create such naked and vibrant beauty. Untamed by man.

Travel further down into the mountains and I see the snow tipped peaks. And from u here i wish I could reach out, do a mr incredible and touch a tip. Will I feel perfection?

This has inspired me so because it appears that somewhere in my quest to heal my hurting heart and cure the aching despair that sometimes fills me, I forgot about the beauty and perfection which God creates. And I am thankful for my decision to take this trip.

I am searching for something. I am not searching for it in a location, no. I am searching for it in my heart. But it was necessary for me to take my heart out of the place I was in. Breathe new air, take long walks with music in my ears, see the smile of strangers. (lagosians are an aggressive lot u know. Lagosians are not smiling). But I needed to get away. And I am thankful . Oh so thankful. For the reminder that He can perfect that which concerns me.
See post on 1 Jan 2011

Protecting my heart.
Its nice and new and shiny. Not like a toy, but as a gift in place of sadness and despair. A well won prize, undeserved but granted nonetheless. I am not protecting my heart from love, far be it from me to do that. Afterall, love gave it to me. I am protecting it from anyone who would not handle with care. This heart will be stronger than the other. For it understands that where it has been placed once housed pain. There will be no more falling...not that I can predict the future or assume even for a moment that it may not happen. But I will be more careful this time and grow into that love. And if its love, it will wait for me.

But firstly, do you know Heather Headley's "If it wasn't for your love" ? I'm dedicating that to God.
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN


chinenye said...

Abimbola ur such a wonderful writer....its almost like readin a danielle steele novel..

Blessing said...

I totally agree wit chinenye!!! Wow...good job with the writing and best of luck. I hope you truly find what you're in search of. And as you've dedicated that song to God I pray that he'll dedicate the remainder of this year to filling your heart with joy, peace, love, fulfillment and all that you desire plus more!

Enjoy ur stay!!!

lani said...

I agree with chinenye and blessing, your writing feels like you are doing a mr incredible and already touching the tip of that snow peak.

Looking in the right direction, you'll definitely get what you looking for in your heart ... pursuit of happyness!!!

MsBollz said...

I most certainly agree with this post,totally!
He will perfect which concerns us,in Jesus name.