Skip to main content

WEIGHTY

i wonder if there is such a thing as overblogging but i feel a need to pour out these particular thoughts.
in the age of perfection when skinny is beautiful and overweight(notice my non-usage of the word 'fat') is not, I think perhaps that man has returned to its early self. but i would not make this an abstract admission of what i feel to be quite cruel indeed, instead i shall say exactly what i feel. this is afterall my blog.
i never felt the words 'you're fat' cut me as deep as they did this evening. and hurt they did.
it asnt the embarrasment of everyone laughing when she said it, it was the fact that for the first time in as long as i can remember, i felt like less of a person. my sef esteem flew right of the window and i couldnt even come up with any of my usual witty replies. i felt like i had been punched in the gut. i felt.......fat

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Pondering

The words are coming faster now. I am letting myself feel, even though little at a time as if there is a way to temper these things. How can you measure hope? A little at a time for today and then a little more tomorrow? If that were possible then maybe that is what I am doing. But i definitely feel more. Its amazing this thing. I am filled with wonder at the possibility that I could once again wholly and completely offer my heart to another person. Not with words as I have done so many times but in truth. How do I know that this time its true? Hope. That's how. I am not intentionally discounting every word that I hear. I am fighting the thought of my usual buffers. Its funny how I hadn't realised the patterns I held fast to until now. I am unlearning and relearning. I am asking myself questions... my surefire logic thought process :) And of course the questioning brings me to this point. If love is the source of this openness which allows me to write, does it then follow th...

The Replacements don't fit

I've always believed that there's just one person for each of us. That one soulmate. Yin to your Yang. Only one person that will ever complete u so perfectly. One true love. And I've also always believed that everyone will meet that person at one point in their lives. And with that person, you only get one shot at it. But I've also always believed that sometimes it may work out and other times it won't. But that does not make it any less true. I've also always believed that before and after that one person there would be others. Mirages if you like. Mirrors but not exactly mirror images. And out of all of that we pick one. And it works out. But most times you never forget. Its been 8months since we split up. And yes I have moved on and I'm happy and restored, but I yearn for him. Not in my body as with a lover's touch, but in my soul. There's many things I'd like to share with him cos I know he'd understand. Many questions I'd like to ask...

Thursday I'm in Love ;)

Lol...scratch my title. Or dont scratch it. Not yet, cos its not complete. I'm in love, yes. With love. I know, beat me. You were expecting something else weren't you? I've missed my blog and blogsville so much. My google reader has over 100 unread items. :s. Work has just been horrid and as I type, I am on hard bought borrowed time. Nevertheless, lemme make this count. Its thursday, and I am in love with love. Not just for love's sake, but cos I'm learning new stuff everyday. You know that passage about love in Corinthians? Its so complete. Please read here : LOVE And lately i've been thinking about it alot, and about what it means. But I wont preach about that, the bible is already explicit in that aspect. Instead, you know how a picture is worth a thousand words? Enjoy... Do you agree? The part about highly desirable makes me smile. And if you've been reading my blog since last year, you'd know that I concur completely with the weakened brain, s...