What I would not talk about. at least not here

Pondering

The words are coming faster now. I am letting myself feel, even though little at a time as if there is a way to temper these things. How can you measure hope? A little at a time for today and then a little more tomorrow? If that were possible then maybe that is what I am doing. But i definitely feel more. Its amazing this thing. I am filled with wonder at the possibility that I could once again wholly and completely offer my heart to another person. Not with words as I have done so many times but in truth. How do I know that this time its true? Hope. That's how. I am not intentionally discounting every word that I hear. I am fighting the thought of my usual buffers. Its funny how I hadn't realised the patterns I held fast to until now. I am unlearning and relearning. I am asking myself questions... my surefire logic thought process :) And of course the questioning brings me to this point. If love is the source of this openness which allows me to write, does it then follow th...

The Replacements don't fit

I've always believed that there's just one person for each of us. That one soulmate. Yin to your Yang. Only one person that will ever complete u so perfectly. One true love. And I've also always believed that everyone will meet that person at one point in their lives. And with that person, you only get one shot at it. But I've also always believed that sometimes it may work out and other times it won't. But that does not make it any less true. I've also always believed that before and after that one person there would be others. Mirages if you like. Mirrors but not exactly mirror images. And out of all of that we pick one. And it works out. But most times you never forget. Its been 8months since we split up. And yes I have moved on and I'm happy and restored, but I yearn for him. Not in my body as with a lover's touch, but in my soul. There's many things I'd like to share with him cos I know he'd understand. Many questions I'd like to ask...

~What little brothers are made of~

You know how we have Mothers' day and Fathers' day. Apparently, there's also Brothers' day. :s abi? Yeah i'm confused too. Didnt know as well. But that's entirely besides the point. Thing is my aunt is still in Nigeria, and still staying in my room and although I'd moved out for a bit, I was totally missing home. So sunday night I decided to sleep in my little brother's room. And mosquitoes bit the hell out of me. I didnt exactly complain but he understood. When I got home yesterday, braced for part two, I met the room arranged, mosquito free and the second single bed laid with fresh sheets. My baby brother was looking out for me. As usual. I was with a friend yesterday and he said something about little brothers being angels. I may have disagreed with him. Growing up with mine was pure torture at times. He blackmailed me for a bit, tried to stick freshly put out candle in my right eye, stabbed me with a fork, made me burn my finger in the cigarette li...

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