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We Stay...., Aboko ku

"Will today be the day he sees me for who I truly am? will today be the day that he realises that I truly love him? Will today be the day he realises that I will not change? Will today be the day that he decides that it is me? Will it be today that he will finally see my selfless act of love? that he is meant to be with me? Will it be today that he falls in love with me?"

The above are the questions that as women , not all mind you....or perhaps maybe all, ask ourselves. The questions that we dont voice out, out of fear that the next person may see us as weak and scorn us for our lily liverdness. After all who is forcing you to stay? why dont you leave him?. I too have asked the same questions of another girl...forgetting that I have also asked her questions. When will he see.

All relationships are not easy, all relationships are unique says my friend Karima. She also says that the problem is that all men are demented. As aboko ku (s)  (Ruth. will die with/for my husband) all we do is love and love and love. When we choose, we choose. And then we stick to it. We fight for it. We make excuses for the men that cause us pain. We invest our hearts and souls and bodies into these relationships. We invest our time...all those hours that become days, and the days that become weeks, then months and then years. We carry the relationships on our shoulders and keep our pain private. Loving men that either dont know how to or are too scared to love back and dont seem to want to make up their minds. Thing is an aboko ku will only pick a man that wants her. He will love her and he will pick her she says. One day he will...she says. And his sporadic moments of love seem to make up for the other times.

Do not get me wrong, an Aboko ku does not have low self esteem. She is not the one that other men have rejected. Nope. She is the one that is queen among her peers. She is beautiful inside and outside. She is a strong woman. She will make any man proud. She will be a good wife. What do you want apart from a woman that will not leave you. She will cook your meals and keep your home. She will be a whore in the bedroom or any other place you need her to be. She will never cease to respect and honour. She will care for you and give you beautiful children. She will bring up those children to be the best that it will ever be possible for a child to be. Because she is the best that a woman can be.

She will pull her weight in the home. She will not be a doormat. She will defend you like a tigress would defend her young. She will love you. With love so pure and true. .....

The problem with an Aboko ku is that she has chosen. Simply that. We choose...and then we stay.

This morning I heard Zara's " Aboko ku" on the radio and I immediately put the words "no one can love you like i do, no one can treat you like I do. Aboko ku" as my BBM status. And aint that the truth.


Signed,

Aboko ku.

Comments

sapphireChic said…
Hehehe! I have heard tht song a lotta times and each time,I'm like damn this Zara babe! Who gave the right to write a song about me!?
I couldnt/wouldnt have said it better even if I wanted to. I loved the part where u said its the beautiful strong women who are the aboko kus! Its not the regular women one who's expect. Its the strong,independent woman! The one u think should have men at her beck and call but no..she's chosen to see just one man and stay with him!! I swear its a mystery but like I told my friend yesterday,we can't choose whom we love!
Anonymous said…
lol....babe you're so on point. Funny thing is the way a woman can for no reason choose to stick to a guy is the same way she can choose never to talk to him again...people say the line between love and hate is thin, i say there is no line! All there is the way we interprete our feelings negatively or positively and when our aboko ku has a change of heart what does Romeo do? He starts to sing "you're not the girl i used to know" boo hoo!Luola
Temite said…
HA... Bstar, you are right.
its a VERY bad idea sha.
I cant do it.
The only Oko I want to die for is myself. And I think women need to learn this. That you are the beginning and the end. That no man is worth it. NONE! You are the first and the last...I hope I am not a Ruth...I really really hope!
Rita said…
So now I have learnt something - a word for what I did and do...Aboko ku. I think it happens to most women...it is in our DNA.
neefemi said…
U aint ever lied my love

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