We Stay...., Aboko ku

"Will today be the day he sees me for who I truly am? will today be the day that he realises that I truly love him? Will today be the day he realises that I will not change? Will today be the day that he decides that it is me? Will it be today that he will finally see my selfless act of love? that he is meant to be with me? Will it be today that he falls in love with me?"

The above are the questions that as women , not all mind you....or perhaps maybe all, ask ourselves. The questions that we dont voice out, out of fear that the next person may see us as weak and scorn us for our lily liverdness. After all who is forcing you to stay? why dont you leave him?. I too have asked the same questions of another girl...forgetting that I have also asked her questions. When will he see.

All relationships are not easy, all relationships are unique says my friend Karima. She also says that the problem is that all men are demented. As aboko ku (s)  (Ruth. will die with/for my husband) all we do is love and love and love. When we choose, we choose. And then we stick to it. We fight for it. We make excuses for the men that cause us pain. We invest our hearts and souls and bodies into these relationships. We invest our time...all those hours that become days, and the days that become weeks, then months and then years. We carry the relationships on our shoulders and keep our pain private. Loving men that either dont know how to or are too scared to love back and dont seem to want to make up their minds. Thing is an aboko ku will only pick a man that wants her. He will love her and he will pick her she says. One day he will...she says. And his sporadic moments of love seem to make up for the other times.

Do not get me wrong, an Aboko ku does not have low self esteem. She is not the one that other men have rejected. Nope. She is the one that is queen among her peers. She is beautiful inside and outside. She is a strong woman. She will make any man proud. She will be a good wife. What do you want apart from a woman that will not leave you. She will cook your meals and keep your home. She will be a whore in the bedroom or any other place you need her to be. She will never cease to respect and honour. She will care for you and give you beautiful children. She will bring up those children to be the best that it will ever be possible for a child to be. Because she is the best that a woman can be.

She will pull her weight in the home. She will not be a doormat. She will defend you like a tigress would defend her young. She will love you. With love so pure and true. .....

The problem with an Aboko ku is that she has chosen. Simply that. We choose...and then we stay.

This morning I heard Zara's " Aboko ku" on the radio and I immediately put the words "no one can love you like i do, no one can treat you like I do. Aboko ku" as my BBM status. And aint that the truth.


Signed,

Aboko ku.