Skip to main content

Of rainy days....(Flashbacks)

Dancing in circles with friends in rain, missed lecture because of this.

Rainy Saturday afternoon designing wedding gowns and fantasizing about my dream wedding and building castles in the air. 14 and free from secondary school. From here on to conquer the world.

Rainy Friday afternoon hunched over my desk at overdosing on The Fray, trading OTH quotes and music with soon to be boyfriend who later became ex-boyfriend. I miss carefree. Or maybe I've never been carefree?

Rainy Friday evening driving to Paddy's, tears streaming down my face. Seeking comfort.

On B's bed, in B's arms. Both listening to rainfall outside the window and whispering. Now I wonder why we were whispering…perhaps subconsciously trying not to break what we knew was fragile. Too precious this memory. Tranquillity.

On B's bed. B snoring beside me. Laptop open in front of me, writing one of my best posts till date. Stand up from bed to stare outside the window. Its so peaceful. I long to put my hand outside window to touch rain. Crawl back into bed and try to crawl into B. Time was running out.

In parking lot at work, seat reclined, rain hitting roof, listening to M.I's "Forever". Bliss

Reading Calais in patio. Weather cold from rain falling outside. Restoring self, leaving world behind and entering mind. Looking for self lost along the way. Oldest I've ever been at this point.

Lost in London. Took walk and just kept walking. Funny late autumn light rain. No coat, 10pounds and oyster in pocket. Left mobile at home. Journeys to nowhere.

Woke up middle of night. Patio door flung wide open cos forgot to lock it earlier. Heavy winds promising rain. Went to patio and cried eyes out. There is where mother found me. First step to healing.

Standing at window last week. Rain outside window. Not heavy, not drizzle. Just right. Like me. Contemplating future. Heart awash with plans. Finding self again.

It is well with me. It is well with you.

P.s. you may wonder about some of the tenses in this post. Do not fear, I haven't entirely forgotten how to speak English. Is just darned Irish novel.

Much Love,

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN


Popular posts from this blog

~~Tuesdays' Thoughts: Ma wo oju Uche~~

~~Ever heard the phrase Ma wo oju Uche (no look Uche face/ dont look at Uche's face)? I heard it two or so years ago and for the life of me I couldnt fathom what it was supposed to me. Ladies and gentlemen, I have come to the end of my pondering. At 7am this morning, it hit me. i was in the shower when it did. And my verdict? Yoruba people are wicked. why? Uche is a unisex name right? Medusa was a woman right? (not sure about that thoe...the people in that period dint, woman, goat..etc) And you couldnt look in medusa's face too.  See.....(u dont see? :'( it made sense at 7am). But why use Uche makes sense jor. Dont look at Uche = Dont look at Medusa = Mind where you put your eye = Dont be convetious...see...are you proud of me yet? ~~

~~Yoruba movies are hilarious. I stayed up last night watching one called Ipese on African Magic yoruba (dont ask me how. It had subtitles). It left me in stitches. Everything was a comic freakshow. If you are ever…

Who Am I

If I asked you to describe yourself, what words would you use? Would you describe yourself in a one line sentence, stating the obvious? Would you be funny, smart, beautiful, tall and 25? Or would you be melancholic, choleric, sanguine and a libra. Would you be sexy and have oloju come and do? Would you be dedicated and courageous and driven and afraid? Lol...I just described myself as I would have, a long time ago.

However in recent times, I have realized that I cannot describe myself in those words. Because doing that takes all the wonder out of it. If I said I was funny would you not wonder how I got to be funny? Or if I said I am by nature a lonely person, if you have met me you would immediately argue with that. But that would be because you do not know me. You do not know the experiences that have shaped me, my life. The little and big things that have combined themselves into forming me, as you see me.

Which is why when I started reading Bobo Omotayo's "London Life Lag…

No Reins Baby. No Reins.

I think all humans are born to with a predisposition to trust and to take chances. We are given first the explorer's mind; nature egging us on to explore, to feel, to experience and to conquer. To participate in something that is outside of us, sharing in the wonder. Until we start to learn, experiences shaping our individual realities in more ways than one. We start to make conclusions about life, ours in particular and the world in general and in relation to us from the results of our learning. The child who learns to walk sees that two legs up and nature forces him to get up, one step above the animal, conquering the self that is defined on two hands and knees. The child sees evidence in walking and is fuelled towards that achievement regardless of how many times he falls back on his bottom. He knows that at some point, he will retain his balance and he will stand.

It seems like as life goes on however we lose that predisposition as a result of learning and experience. Our ins…