Friday, June 10, 2011

Of rainy days....(Flashbacks)

Dancing in circles with friends in rain, missed lecture because of this.

Rainy Saturday afternoon designing wedding gowns and fantasizing about my dream wedding and building castles in the air. 14 and free from secondary school. From here on to conquer the world.

Rainy Friday afternoon hunched over my desk at overdosing on The Fray, trading OTH quotes and music with soon to be boyfriend who later became ex-boyfriend. I miss carefree. Or maybe I've never been carefree?

Rainy Friday evening driving to Paddy's, tears streaming down my face. Seeking comfort.

On B's bed, in B's arms. Both listening to rainfall outside the window and whispering. Now I wonder why we were whispering…perhaps subconsciously trying not to break what we knew was fragile. Too precious this memory. Tranquillity.

On B's bed. B snoring beside me. Laptop open in front of me, writing one of my best posts till date. Stand up from bed to stare outside the window. Its so peaceful. I long to put my hand outside window to touch rain. Crawl back into bed and try to crawl into B. Time was running out.

In parking lot at work, seat reclined, rain hitting roof, listening to M.I's "Forever". Bliss

Reading Calais in patio. Weather cold from rain falling outside. Restoring self, leaving world behind and entering mind. Looking for self lost along the way. Oldest I've ever been at this point.

Lost in London. Took walk and just kept walking. Funny late autumn light rain. No coat, 10pounds and oyster in pocket. Left mobile at home. Journeys to nowhere.

Woke up middle of night. Patio door flung wide open cos forgot to lock it earlier. Heavy winds promising rain. Went to patio and cried eyes out. There is where mother found me. First step to healing.

Standing at window last week. Rain outside window. Not heavy, not drizzle. Just right. Like me. Contemplating future. Heart awash with plans. Finding self again.

It is well with me. It is well with you.

P.s. you may wonder about some of the tenses in this post. Do not fear, I haven't entirely forgotten how to speak English. Is just darned Irish novel.

Much Love,

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

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